vicious cycle of tests

oh man, my life is nothing more than taking a bunch of tests from mon-fri. seriously, my student diary is filled up with all the tests. And I've already sort of given up on writing down my homework there, since it's impossible to complete them. gees. I must say I'm pretty much immuned to all the tests already, taking my own sweet time to study past midnight but i still get panic attacks occasionally.

i hate waking up to go to school. every morning, i'm filled with this dreadful feeling as I scrap myself off my bed. why did i wake up? (question posted by Adam Khoo Learning Technology) and i still can't figure out the answer yet. God, what's the purpose of me waking up? actually, i'd love waking up if i didn't need to go to school. No, i don't exactly hate school. But school's really quite boring. everything is so routined yet without a purpose. I love knowledge but not when it's being forced into my brain which is running out of memory space and low battery already.

at times i feel as though i'm driven by the people around me, by the environment rather than by my own will. Ok, i'm supposed to be driven by god's will, not that i really know what that is. bleah.

and i do wonder what would my life be like if i hadn't gone to youth service. I'd probably stop going adult service altogether. it was only a sms then. certainly an sms that made a difference in my life. i can't imagine what would life be like now if i didn't sms. well, probably i'd still survive since it's been like that for the past 16 years of my life. i'm sure there're plenty of opportunities in life to accept Christ. Just a matter of time and provided I don't die too early. but what's the significance of accepting early and late. i can't figure that out. just like 2 months. what could possible happen within 2 months? maybe i'll lose faith and hunger for god within this period of 60days since i'm just a new believer. when i first told my mom, i've decided to be a christian, I ask her to guess how long my faith will last... she say 3months. i ask my sis and she said 1-2yrs. gees, just shows how much faith they have in me. well, it's not like i have a lot of faith either. i can't even forsee myself going to church after O's

I'M PASSING OUT OF BAND THIS SAT 15 JULY!!

okay. self-passing out.. but it's the last event of band. i'm going to be so happy and celebrate at haagen dazs with crystal!!

I really thank God that I'm passing out~ i might just break down into tears on saturday and sunday. ok after that is serious matters - o levels

And, I haven't come to a decision with regards to going to encounter weekend before O's. but sometimes when i think of it, i feel like crying, not because i feel stressed but because it's really like 50:50 ...i have no answer for myself. i mean the thought is, it's good to go before O's, but what's the difference if I go after O's? it's only a matter of a few months and i cant seem to figure out the significance of the few months, maybe that's why i can't make up my mind.

THE GIFT by (Jim Brickman)

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on
like a fairy tale come true.

Sitting by the fire we made
You're the answer when i prayed
I would find someone
and baby I found you.

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away and
I'm thankful every day
for the gift.

Watching as you softly sleep
What I'd give if I could keep
Just this moment if only time stood still.
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us grey
But baby in my eyes
You'll still be beautiful.

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I'm thankful every day
for the gift.

(instrumental)

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more every day
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
I can't find the words to say
That I'm thankful every day
for the gift.

12 days

i'm only 12 days away from passing out of band. the feeling is simply beyond what words can describe. of course, still there will be things i'll miss.

making countless prayers about band has already become part of my life. passing out is like having this fearful part of my life being ripped out and filling it up temporary with O level worries. i certainly look forward to after O levels. the time i have and the things i can do. though i'm not sure what i'm going to do...

Carry the Cross and Follow Me

I carry a cross as a simple reminder
to me. Of the fact that I am a Christian
no matter where I may be.

This little cross is not magic. Nor is it a good luck
charm. It isn't meant to protect me.
From every physical harm.

It's not for identification for all the world to see
It's simply an understanding
Between my Saviour and me.

When I look at the cross, it is there to remind me
Of the price Jesus paid for me.

It reminds me, too, to be thankful. For my blessings
day by day. And to strive to serve the Lord better
In all that I do and say

It's also a daily reminder of the peace and comfort
I share. With all who know my Master
and give themselves to His care.

So, I carry a cross
Reminding no one but me
That Jesus Christ is the Lord of my life.

thanks for the gift :)

L1

i was thinking what to do with my L1.

bad news: both my languages are horrible
good news: since both are equally bad i have a choice which to work on.

i think i'll work on my EL.

Sec 4 - a little bumper boat ride

Sec 4 is just a little bumper boat ride to me, at least from jan till now. people keep telling me it's a rollercoaster. and in fact, i do intend to enjoy my Term 3. I guess, only Sirui is thinking of that as well. prelims is only 9 weeks away... i'm not prepared but i feel that i'll be prepared by then. gees, i need to start studying...

i'm actually quite amazed by my bio practical marks. i barely scraped through.. yet i'm like so happy. and it's strange how i can thank god even though i just passed. you know a just passed mark is really quite pathetic. but i thank god because i thought my bio practical was a gone case, especially when my stupid potato didnt grow. i had to fake all the results... calculate all the fake percentage, and plot my fake graph. i was amazed that i even passed.

school starts - term 3: the rollercoaster ride

school is starting tmr!! i'm getting a little panicky. my june hols just ended like this. i'm gonna savour the last few hours of it by mugging. bleaghs..

anyway this hols is really quite different. it's been one month since i accepted Christ on 21/5/06 . i wont say there's a big change in my life. well, i still like to sleep. but more or less some changes to it... and cause of church, suddenly i get to know a lot more people and well, some people better. it's nice though quite strange too.... but i do enjoy the company. haha

sad to say, academically wise, i think there's little progress. i think i really need to stop sleeping so much. and i need to decide on the studying issue on Sundays. should i study at Changi Airport? God, please help me decide :)

a name for all Sundays

i was talking to crys the other day... and she went like "how come suddenly all your sundays have a name for it?" ok i thought that was really funny. I mean first there was this balloon hat festival followed by tabernacle camp, then bbq, then miracle weekend...etc etc and finally 16 July -my unofficial POP day, the day i'm released from band!! I can't believe it, only about 10 more practices. i'm really excited about that. i mean the last time i counted it was like 70+ more practices and it seem to me as though i was gonna be stuck in band for like say eternity? ok anyway i'm gonna be out! maybe i'll have a quick celebration with crys. but well, band has left many memories, be it good or bad, though mostly bad. haha and i wish all the best to my jnrs.. can almost feel myself writing the POP letter to them.

today's my grandmother's bdae too. so i'm attending morning service and i just need to pray that i will be able to make my way to my cousin's house. it's been a long time since i last met my cousins except Jason, whom i met for dinner coincidentally. nice to see what the rest have morphed into cause they never seem to change except grow taller than me. gees...

okay, went out today for dinner with my sis, her bf, her friend. that's like a super wierd combination. but i think only because my sis wanted me to be around so that her friend wont feel so wierd around my sis and her bf. it's complicated.

anyway, we ate at Thaiexpress... and later my sis went to watch the Garfield movie with her friend, while me and her bf ended up in Macs together. o.O Lucky never let my relatives see us there otherwise wait they think we're having an affair... cause that time during my sis birthday, they saw me and her bf winking at each other and one of them thought we're like tackling each other when it's because we wanted to signal to each other regarding my sis bdae surprise. omg.

haha then after the movie, met with my sis and her friend again and we went KFC this time for supper... and after that to see ki sell beer. lol

gees, come to think of it, i seem to be always hanging around people i supposedly shouldn't be hanging around with. and they always tend to be older than me. haha i have a strange social circle, but it's not exactly my fault. it's just like that.

met out with lyd today for lunch at kfc. gees, the bus took like 35 minutes to come but the journey was only 5 mins . it's like so ridiculous. lucky this happened today and not tmr, well hopefully, otherwise the bus to vch will like leave without me?! anyway, had quite a long chat and later went to the library to study. i was quite sian-ed when i saw that all the tables and chairs were taken. and i was like thinking, maybe i'll just go macs at J8 or go home. but guess what? i found an empty table at the cafe just before i was about to leave :) so i started my mugging session. it was quite fruitful... i suppose.

hmm, i've been thinking whether i should continue to keep this blog or close it down. i mean i want to keep track of my quite happening life... i've been blogging quite a lot for the past few months just that i didnt post them up but save them as drafts instead. this way i can blog about my thoughts and actions more freely (: but should i continue to blog? it's like june hols are ending... a bit no time. but i think it's impt to keep track of my thoughts too. gees...

this morning, i suddenly remembered how i use to believe in the existence of santa claus. haha!! that was during my pre-school days when my friend Issac actually managed to convince me about the existence of santa claus... and i went home excitedly telling my sis who is about 12 or 13 that time and she told me it's not true. but i didnt believe her. and actually, i spent quite some time thinking what should i ask santa for.. haha.. however when christmas came, i realise that santa didnt exist cause my presents were not there. i was so disappointed can... bleahs.

and one thing i can never forget about my preschool days was when we had this usual watching tv session at late afternoon. and my best friend (Joanne) and I was trying to squeeze in to sit with the crowd. then this teacher told us to sit next to her cos there was a space... i said it's okay.. we'll sit there(points to the crowd) and the teacher kept asking us to sit next to her. and we just ignore her. until she ask me to go and see her. then she ask why dont you want to sit here (points to the space next to her)? I told her she was very smelly, that's why. haha and i think she had no idea how to scold me so she got the principal to scold me and i had no idea why was i scolded... cause i rmb me and my friend discussing that it was true that the teacher was smelly...haha and since she ask so i answer. now where did i go wrong - honesty is the best policy, maybe the teacher went home to scrub herself 10X. haha... come to think of it she must be darn sad cause kids usually dont lie...

was talking to crystal on the phone, discussing my very interesting problems :) haha..

then suddenly

she: life seems very short.
me: i think life changes very fast
she: i think we're both very wierd today.

haha. but seriously i think life changes very fast. just when i thought i'm starting to get use to this, things change. and most of the time the future is something that barely crossed my mind.

yesterday, i went for bbq after church. it was quite nice, at least i didnt feel too awkward and the food was cooked :) but it was mostly talking, in fact, all talking only. and surprisingly it was like slightly better than the class bbq in 2d, as in i find it more enjoyable. maybe because i spend half the time at 2d bbq learning how to cycle. it was kind of a horrifying experience, nearly fell down a few times but didnt. actually, i prefer rollerblading to cycling though i suck at both cause at least when u fall, there's no bicycle to land on you.

and about the email thing... i dont know what to say either.

yesterday, i had dinner with one of my aunts and her friend. so wierd.. just the 3 of us. nevertheless, it was quite enjoyable. we ate at soup restaurant again (: we had the samsui chicken - which is like cabbage, ginger and chicken then you wrap it together and stuff it down your throat. we had sweet ribs...and also lotus roots soup. then they kept shoving the food to me when we couldn't finish. well, i did finish the food and i feel so full.. up till now. bleah.. then on the way back, we had a convo about the monster.

anyway, i'm having a bbq later. and it's raining now. and actually, i hope i dont blend in with the trees and become the backdrop. bleahs.. i just need to be more outgoing.

my sis bought final destination 2 vcd. i want to watch!! but think i'm kind of a bit too busy? i think i'm watching Garfield 2 coming sat with jinglin. ahem.. i think i'm seeking death when sch reopens..

ok, guess i'm going for band afterall. god bless me~

and i'm not gonna be able to make it for the miracle weekend. it's my grandmom's birthday. or maybe i'll go church in the morning?... maybe.

i think my holiday hw is gonna kill me. i doubt i'll be doing english. oh com'on it doesnt help... i must must must finish chinese hw today excluding bk review.

i decided to go out with my aunts for dinner. we ended up eating at the soup restaurant. it was nice! especially the chicken plus ginger and lettuce. the ginger is not the usual type cause normally i hate ginger. i ate quite a lot. it's good that my appetite is back. for the past few days, or rather last week, it felt so horrible cause i didnt feel like eating and almost everything i'll throw away half of it cause i cant finish. everytime i eat, i feel like vomitting. but now it's gone!

and they shopped around compass point later while i just tagged along. they also ask me why i suddenly go to the youth service and they revealed that they were actually quite curious and wanted to hear my testimony (on why i went to the youth service in the first place...) haha. my aunt thought i got zapped like what made me went to youth service "alone". i mean yeah, it was literally alone what. to them, it's like so not me. actually.. i'm not sure. haha maybe they dont know me well. but of course i was scared. i mean who feels comfortable hanging in the midst of strangers?

oh and they went to check on lydia -.-" but they said their friend said she's quite good. so ok lo. phew~ haha.

and after shopping, we went to ya kun kaya toast to eat supper. and the convo flowed to the bible. and my aunt was telling me about Job, which scared me quite a bit. well at least it's a happy ending... so i guess it's not so bad. and i was listening to their testimonies... and they were asking me if I pray. i was like "hmm... yuh, when i'm alone. not out loud. ask me to pray out loud in front of people and i wont know what to say... all i say is Amen when someone prays for me." and they sort of agreed that it's stressful to pray in front of people initially, especially when they can pray so fluently and so naturally and you cant seem to find the right words to say. but they say i'll get the hang of it slowly. haha i hope so.

Great is the lord!

the book sale was excellent except that the books were all not classified and were on the floor. it was a real test of patience looking for the book you want.

everything was quite a bargain. eg
shopaholic and sister was $5
roswell was $3

basically, me and my sis had quite a big catch ;)

lugged all the books to the food fest which was extremely crowded. there wasn't really much unique or interesting food. but i bought 4 packets of apple chips. haha

and the branded sale!! my sis bought a ROXY jacket which i'm going to 'kapo'... i bought a 37d pencil case.

and bringing everything home was definitely not easy. it could jolly well serve as a form of excercise¬

my homework!! ok i really need to get to my hw o.o

it's been a rather demoralising week. but hey, i'm glad the weekend's here.

i'm going Expo later for the food fest and MPH booksale, together with my sis and jinglin.
i'm going Expo tmr for church too.

i realise i'm actually quite a sociable creature. anyway i packed my table last night. looks a whole lot better but is still messy. I need to do my homework!!

maybe i'll blog later about the food fest and book sale :D

ok i've come to a conclusion. i want to get into RJC.

oh yes, here comes my wonderful weekend. i'm off to hug my pillows... in fact that was exactly what i did when i came home from band. argh.. this weekend is going to be extremely busy. and if i want to think of completing my hw on time, i'd better start today. and sort of finish it today. -.-

sat is totally booked. by lit seminar and chc.
as for sunday, i haven decided where to eat dinner. at my aunt's place to save money and get interrogated? or outside?

hmm and i realise i've sort of caught the flu bug. i'm beginning to experience some slight sore throat. oh man please dont let me fall sick this weekend.

my aunt called me while i was sleeping. and when i woke up, my dad asked me to call her back as though it was some urgent business deal. i just rolled my eyes at my dad, not that i was trying to be rude, but com'on how important my aunt's call would be?!

and i walk away to eat my dinner. and he commanded me to call her this instant, saying it's urgent. i gave up and called.

it was about my cousin going overseas and some IB programme. how great her international school was going to be and how she might be going USA after that...

well, i cant say i'm not jealous. but i can live without it.

this sat, there'll be a lit seminar and after that i'm going CHC with crystal. i cant wait for Sat to come~

Happy Mother's Day!!

this morning, at church, my aunts were encouraging me to take the flag to wave. haha and i did!! it looks easy when you see others wave it, but boy, it was tough. i had little control over the flag. the pole was too heavy and long for me. and i knocked into another flag pole. thank god, that's the only thing i knocked into. i dont want to be the first to smash anyone's head with it. and the crowd made me even more scared. but anyway it was quite fun.

in the afternoon, we had lunch at parkway and shopped at Giant, bought nothing. came home to rot in my pig sty... and woke up feeling extra irritated with my chi teacher all over again. sigh.. there are just so few good teachers.

okay, i'm off to buy my dinner

today was a pretty much wasted day. I lazed on my bed for almost the entire morning. there were no good shows on TV anyway.

I read a bit of gossip girl and then went out with my sis for dinner at mos. i bought a set of earphones - the cheapest one. the most expensive one was like 200 i think. that's equivalent to buying an MP3?!

anyway, i love my new earphones despite them being cheapo ones because at least i can listen to my songs with both ears now. my previous one only works for one ear...

i shall go off to do some hw later..

Oh my God, i actually reached home safely.

this is what happens when you skip band.

1. it started raining mammoths and dinosaurs... and my green umbrella did an amazing disappearing act. i had to brave through the rain with my file, lit, bio, geog elect book.

crystal and i think what the school needs is not an auditorium, but a sheltered walkway to the gate.

the best part is that the rain stop the moment we board the bus... not a single drop.

2. i was at yck mrt. and guess what? the track had to be faulty. i was in the mrt with the door refusing to close. i was tempted to alight but i thought, nvm... the door will close anytime soon. i waited for like a gazillion minutes and the door finally close.

to my horror... the mrt moved a few metres and stop in the middle of nowhere. now i cant even alight! then it started moving again, at snail's pace. even i could walk faster than that~
then it started to speed up and came to a halt suddenly. i was holding so many things... and i nearly lost my balance. and what followed was a whole series of moving and stopping. so it was a super jerky ride.

i was so relieved to get off the train. not that i was afraid something bad would happen... but it's so terrible to be trapped inside.

at any rate.. i dont care. i dont regret skipping band.

nightstudy was quite fun. okay not exactly fun but at least it managed to keep me awake and study

i'm looking forward to Vesak Day!! and of course Sunday

i need more sleep...

-screams

i'm starting to fall asleep in class..

So You Would Come by Hillsong United album: All Things Are Possible: Live Worship From Hillsongs Australia (1997)

Before the world began You were on His mind And every tear you cry Is precious in His eyes Because of His great love He gave His only Son Everything was done So you would come Nothing you can do Could make Him love you more And nothing that you've done Could make Him close the door Because of His great love He gave His only Son Everything was done So you would come Come to the Father Though your gift is small Broken hearts, broken lives He will take them all The power of the Word The power of His blood Everything was done So you would come

i love this song. though sometimes when i listen to such songs i feel like crying. partly caused i'm touched and also because i feel guilty. i've always been told there's no need to wait to accept god into your life. but somehow i'm like waiting for something. waiting for the right time to come to accept him, yet i know there's no wrong time in the first time... despite knowing all these.. i'm still gonna wait. i know there's no hurry into such things, but why should you wait when you already know of his existence and feel of his existence... i guess i simply still lack the strength to take a step of faith forward.

hmm, i've decided to go for the Adam khoo thing. and hopefully i'll gain something useful from this 100+ dollars investment. well, even if i dont learn anything, it's still gonna be fun :D

remedial = shopping
teacher says "due to the lack of time, we're going to have shopping sessions as a class during the june holidays."

whee~

tmr, there'll be someone coming to promote the adam khoo learning technology in our school. well, firstly, i have no doubts that the person is able to psycho (ok a more appropriate word - inspire) me to be motivated for my O's :)

but experience tells me that such things are short-lived. easy come, easy go... one moment i'm so motivated to do well and the next moment i'm back to my old life again. the person is not constantly there to motivate me. all that's left behind is my memory of that period of time.. so it's like so difficult.

i think it's easy for me to believe it when people tell me "you've got what it takes!!" but when i tell it to myself.. things are so different. i look at so many people, trying to willpower themselves to succeed in life... some work, some dont. it's like 50% chance.

If you try 100%, you can do it. i'm not being cynical but that's so not true. i've seen so many people trying 101% yet doing worse than people who are putting in only 1%...

shrugs.. maybe it's 50% strategy and 50% willpower. it's more of like working smart.

anyway... if it falls on band camp, i'm signing up for sure!

:D

hmm anyway speaking of motivators, i daresay pastor kong hee is by far the most inspiring person i know! that explains why CHC is the largest church in Sg and second biggest church in asia... well, he teach things like unleashing your potential and changing your life with God... something like that. he's damn pro at it

shall see how is the adam khoo thingy tmr.

Top 10 thoughts on my mind (not in order)

1. i've thought out my dinner plan.

i'll get my mommy to cook :)
and on days when my mom is working, i'll buy food home
and on band days when my mom is working, i'll meet my sis for dinner.

that's easy.

2. I love going to church. it's like going to some weekly concert - loud music, colored lightings, hype crowd, nice songs, really cold air-con... the atmosphere is good and refreshing... though i'm not sure if i'm suppose to feel this way about church. anyway it's the only day, you'll see me getting up so early without groaning and going to bathe~

3. the increase in carbon dioxide levels in the blood stimulates the breathing centre in the medulla oblongata of the brain. what kind of a name is medulla oblongata?!

4. i can't wait to pass out of band. i want to quit it right now!! hmm, when should i pon the next band practise?

5. i want to read my book

6. i haven't done my physics -screams

7. my sis dont like me broadcasting my christian songs on the computer too often..or rather all the time :(

8. i need to pack my table.

my evirobs are lying on my table
my precious thoughts calendar is still at march
i have a whole stack of worksheets that i'd probably never flip through
my "can you keep a secret book" is still waiting to be wrapped (i need to buy wrapping paper)

9. where's mom? she hid my snacks. she said i was scary cause i ate too much of it. and she decided to hide it from me while i was asleep... i feel like a 4-yr-old.

10. i'm still waiting for my pizza hut lucky draw to win a pair of tickets to Greece :)

Additional 1: i want to go overseas!!!

ok, from now on i'm suppose to settle my own lunch and dinner. but of course i get more pocket money. then again, i gotta take the trouble to buy my own dinner... :

anyway, today i gave class outing a miss cause i didnt really feel like going for it. instead, i went out with my mom and sis to eat at ding tai fung. it's quite nice but horribly expensive. 50 bucks for not a lot of food.. but well, it's quality food.

went to supermarket to buy cereals and cookies for breakfast. and then followed my sis to popular. hoho.. she subsidise me with 10 dollars. and i bought a book, which shall be nicely rewrapped again after i finish reading... i know it's a wierd practice...

my sis bought 70 dollars worth of books -faints

tmr there's school and napfa. and worse still, band. god, when am I ever gonna get out of it??

hmm i forgot to mention how the sky looked like yesterday. it was reddish purple, witha cloud shaped fish like. looks abit like dolphin to me :)

was reading more blogs last night.

i realise
1. gay blogs are pretty interesting to read. (no, i'm not a les. i'm 100% straight~)
2. taxi drivers are strange creatures

Sports day today! Blue house got second... hmm not too bad, wish we were first though. ooo, and i love the IJ song. and mr wong totally rocks! his prayers work like wonders! like it was drizzling, there was lightning... and he led the school in a pray, and the rain miraculously stopped!! but well, it rain at 6. then completely stopped when he led us in a pray at i dont know what time again. like omg!!

too bad the teachers race was cancelled. i was hoping to see the ghost run and somebody falling flat on his face (that's if he was gonna run) ... -evil laughter

had dinner at j8 with crystal at cafe cartel. actually, it's more like a really big supper. the place is nice and cosy. but the service is not that great in the sense that we had to wait for pratically everything (the person to take our order, to serve the soup, to serve the drink, to serve the food, to collect the bill, to return the receipt) but the atmosphere was really good. we ended our supper really late. gosh. 10+ and the shops were all closing.

hmm gonna play tennis tmr. hope it doesnt rain :)

BOLLYWOOD BLUE~

shall blog about my section. hehe

leonie read the undomestic goddess and she said it was nice :D
of course!! All sophie kinsella books are nice! Even people like me that detest reading, read all her books~ the guys in her book are always so wonderful...

then me, joanne and leonie saw a book by Dave Pelzer on the table. it was pearlyn's... anyway joanne started saying how nice the book is. how nice it is to read the mom torturing the son... and i was like "hello? are u sadist or something?" anyway, i agree it's interesting to read how the mom tortures the kid :/
joanne claimed that she gave out reading the last book halfway cause the mom stop torturing the kid. i agree... hoho. i asked leonie if she read it before. and she said no. i wonder what sort of books she reads.. she's missing out on all the good stuff, like my sis. joanne continued to advertise the book blah blah...

then i went over to test the seconds. we saw this hospital mc belonging to calista. cher siew said she never been to hospital before. me too. pearlyn said "Ohh! I went before! so cool! that time i had asthma attack at night, my dad speed to the hospital!" and she was really excited recounting the stuff... she said she was on drip. and she held the drip walking around. cher siew asked this question " is it they poke through the vein?" i went like... "of cos... you mean they stick on and you expect the liquid to get into your body? -.-"

after that on our way to combine, we saw the male teachers... (the younger ones of course) playing soccer. and someone asked calista if that person with the cap was her dad. she said her dad is better looking. then i pointed "what about the guy in red.. is that your dad?" and she was like "no! in the first place why would my dad be here?!"... nvm if you dont understand the joke behind it. it's suppose to be pretty funny.

then we slowed down our pace.. cause we want to watch the teachers play. quite fun to watch? haha. and i was pretty distracted during combine. kept on stealing glances at their "match" i think it's just nice and funny to see the teachers.. acting cool and like pro. but actually all i could remember was tym kicked a nice shot into the goal while seth tan missed the goal cause the ball was deflected by the goal post. how... sad, haha... there was this pri sch teacher that was pretty good at dribbling too. anyway sometimes i pity the old male tchers in the sch. they seem outcast?

oh and shaozhe won second in the interclass chinese speech!! vitasoy works~

let's see.. it was raining really heavily today.. and i manage to get a ride back home. cab with hannah, jenny and leiping. nevertheless, my shoes were still soaked...

anyway at j8, there was this makeshift stand distributing brochures and books... at first i thought it was some kind of election stuff. then on closer look, me and hannah concluded that it's some fa lun gong thing. and we started crapping about it, about those people at the explanade. she told me it's a cult and these people dont visit the doctor when they're sick. ..how can anyone do that? i mean if you have some flu, it's not so bad. what if it's like dengue? and they have strange beliefs too... i shant comment too much in case i get into trouble. but yeh.

i was talking to my sis gaming friend - mugod
boy, he's really smart. he goes like "university is really fun and easy!" and he takes one day to study for his exams and manages to get into the honours list.. or whatever you call it.

-faints

and he tells me... O levels? oh each subject maximum 2 days. and he emphasizes on the word maximum. in case you think he's some gaming freak, you're right. but he's super smart too. spend so little time studying still can get in HCJC.

it's the first time i heard people telling me max is 2 days. hoho... and he goes like "history geography biology chemistry physics" is easy to score. i wonder what subject combi he takes?!

hmm part of my life would have been different if I hadnt forogt to hand in one section of my geog paper in sec one. i wouldn't be affected for DnT test and as a result fail that test. perhaps then, i would have gone into charity and miss out the enthu-about-band phase (not that it's a wonderful experience) however, i realised that no matter how different my life is, it'll still end up the same. i'll still end up hating band. so i'll still end up in this state. it makes me feel that all this is pre-planned. but this 4 years of torture in my life, i give 99% credit to my sis for asking me to join band. well, she should not even encourage me to join, instead she should have warned me about it.

sigh. what is done is done. it cannot be undo. i think she should celebrate for me when i pass out of band. i think i'll be really happy. really really happy. i'll buy a tub of ben and jerry's again (:
i'll meditate for 3 hrs. although i dont know how is that relevant. but i guess like i said, it's the day of my rebirth. you know like those prisoners get out of prison. something like that - freedom.

it's 3 month plus away from now. I CANT WAIT ANY LONGER!! i just hate band ok. i hate it. I hate it. dont make me love it. i dont care. why should i love it anyway. i just want to pass out. why cant i pass out now? :(

i'm not pitying myself. i'm just so irritated by the fact that i'm still in band.

i pray that i'll be liberated from band soon.

i'll be meeting jinglin today. hmm it's been a really long time since i last went out with her? i think one year. i'm kind of excited.

anyway i signed up for night study on wednesday and school ends at 2.15. so for me it's like 2.15 to 9. nutness. what can i study for 6 hrs 45min? hmm maybe i'll study SS. or smth else. dont know lah~

hmm today's assembly was pretty interesting. it was some Plain English Speaking blah blah... the really interesting and funny part was the impromptu. people say the silliest things when they're nervous?! haha... one example:

of we want to win lottery but it may be too much money to handle. like this woman who won the lottery...blah blah... it's so much money. i bet she has no idea what to do with it.

(haha... too much $ to handle? that's like the last of my worries)

well, there were a lot of funny stuff that other speakers said.

anyway there has been this vitasoy thing going around in my class. apparently many of us enjoy drinking it. but too much of it causes breast cancer. haha.

:)

with great power comes great responsibilities

did you learn that from the bible or spiderman?

Happy Easter~

i went City Harvest Church this morning. As expected, it's very crowded. we had to take the seats at the side. (my neck hurts...) There was a high level of excitement and everyone was jumping, singing, shouting etc... the drama was good too. Just like what xiang said, the senior pastor was super inspiring

But I prefer the songs they sing in fcbc :)

I had dinner with my cousin. nope, it wasnt intended, just a concoindence. nevertheless, i enjoyed his company. talk about some random stuff. blah blah... and then well, went popular and went home.

ahh, i'm addicted to planetshakers songs. haha it's the type of song that you listen already then cannot stop listening :)

either that or you're like my sis who cant stand the song :/

Hmm, I went to church again today. I'm surprised i woke up on time -7am, still had a bit of time to dilly-dally. oh and I saw seth tan in church haha. not very sure it's him but 99%. and today was a angmoh pastor. the way he relate his life experiences is so hilarious. the auto doors thing and the german shepherd practically sent the whole place into fits of laughter. haha. he's like saying that last time there was a german shepherd chasing after him, bearing it's teeth. and he didnt know what to do. to run or climb a tree or what. so he pointed at the dog and said "In Jesus's name, I rebuke you!" and the dog stop and had a shock expression in the face and ran away after that. haha. so he was like "wow" looking at his finger.

Anyway when I was young, my aunt would ask me to go to church in a way that I can't reject her. the wierd thing was last week my aunt told me she won't pester me to go church anymore, if I want i just call her. and i called her last night, to bring me to church. Coincidentally, there's this G-12 conference going on globally where people are suppose to bring 12 to the church. 12 for each person is a lot. They say you just ask the person like you usually do and the person will surprise you by agreeing to go to church because God will change the circumstances. and that happened to me so I guess to them it's like God's miracles that I'm like finally going to church. well, probably. I don't know what made me call my aunt to go church again either. haha. And I bet they're itching to ask me what made me went to church.

i think i'll go church again next week?! i absolutely enjoy going to church. haha i think my sis thinks i'm crazy.

Yesterday, had tennis again. learn a new stroke - volley. we did the usual forehand, backhand, smash and footwork. we practised service too :)

then went to j8 with crystal. boarded the stupid bus 58 at like 8.40!! waited so long lah. anyway the fruit juice opposite starhub is really nice. I look forward to eating at sakae soon too.

i went to church last sunday :)

it's like wow, I haven't been there for so long and things have certainly changed a lot. it's like some pop star concert. well, but the preaching part is still the same. it was about some forgiving thing. apparently I havent been bearing any grudge recently, so it's not really big deal -grins

hurray for big fonts, for the intelligent blind old bat.

gees.

i did my speech today. phew... i'm glad it's over.
oh, but there's still chinese speech :(

on random stuff...
1. i wonder when's the next time i get to travel again... ahh~ I love travelling... I cant wait to go overseas after O's. I want to go America again!!! I miss the scenery, the shopping, the good food, the hotel, the stopovers to grab a bite, the big cookies and brownies, the many chocolates... it's strange how my sis doesnt really enjoy travelling. must have gotten those genes from dad, since mom loves to travel too :)

2. there's like a total 6 rehearsals/concerts in June. I hate this. Don't they see that we need to take a break?! Like this 6 is not even inclusive of band practices. rahh

3. i have no dream job. i think i enjoy doing too many things. i wouldn't mind being the following (if I have the capabilities to)
-a chef
-a doctor/surgeon
-a tutor
-an office worker - business
-a housewife
-a travel guide (not the book -.-'')
-a game designer
-a researcher
-someone in the ministry.
-a boss, opening my own shop
Gees, there are so many things i like. Too bad I only got one life and I'm not a genius.

4. I'm still thinking of travelling. I'll travel in my dreams. lucid dream :)

5. Damn, I didnt bring SS book home.

6. I need to start studying for O's. I just dont know how to.

i'm addicted to the huang fei hong show... you know channel 55/255 dont have advertisements, so I was addicted to him and the show so much that my eyes are literally glued to the TV for 5hrs non-stop

the main character looks pretty good. Plus, the role of huang fei hong is obviously a good guy, filled with all the morals etc... gees I hope I would meet someone like that in my life. it's good even to have someone like that as a friend.

10 things i want to accomplish in my life

1. become a christian (gees... )
2. travel to europe, NZ, africa, USA, japan, australia
3. marry a good husband
4. have a nice large house
5. find a job i really like
6. keep a big dog
7. learn new skills
8. live abroad for at least a month
9. have a 20yr relationship bestfriend

Last but not least, die happy and leave this world with no regrets.

haha you see me typing such stuff when i'm like bored... =.=

today was a near perfect day. mr ong came!! it's been so long since he last came. he's such a pleasant guy, not like...

"Our current life is dependent on the choices we made 3 years ago . And the choices we make today will determine our lives 3 years later."

This was what we learn during our Chinese lesson today. this is like bullshit.

Firstly, it doesn't need to be 3 years.
Secondly everyone knows that the choices we make everyday affects our life..
(if the choices we make doesnt affect our lives, then it doesnt matter which one we choose, it'll still be the same... then why bother choosing in the first place. And in actual fact, that's a case where you have no choice.)

sometimes the choices we make now may be due to this particular reason. however after some time, the reason changes. And in our opinion, the choices we make now are always good choices. That's needless to say. But sometimes after a few years, you realise that was a bad choice. you have made a mistake. a terrible one. like me joining band. hehe.. and it makes you wonder, what made you think that was a good choice back then.

a couple of things.

1. sh would be going US to study if his application is approved. poo.
some people just got all the luck.
sometimes i would imagine myself having the opportunity to go US to study. it always goes like that: I would suddenly be informed that I'm going to US to study. And I'll be so extremely happy that I cant believe it. I'll inform the school and miss school for the next few days to pack my luggage. I'll go back to school (pri and sec)/ visit people, just before i leave to say goodbye but deep down I dont really care that much. I can always visit them during my summer vacation. yeah. then it'll finally come down to 8hrs before my flight which is at 6am (that's the time i flew to US last time) I'll lie on my bed and start reflecting what a major change my life has gone through and this is all so unexpected. everything is happening so fast, yet I'm happy.
yep that's about all

2. was talking to renette today. she's like saying she has this decent looking flute teacher (male). i cant exactly imagine a good looking musician. All guy musicians seem to appear to me like that mr. tofu, fair... lacking of X-factor in them. haha. ok but renette say her flute teacher doesnt look at all like mr. tofu... too bad I still cant imagine =

3. sch started today. wasnt as bad as expected. I'm seated next to the teacher's table. that totally sucks. i dont know why. but i just feel as though I'm being suppressed... =

i miss nikki...

i'm suffering withdrawal symptoms from nikki. all I have now is a little soft toy siberian husky/ alaskan malamute on my bed for consolation.

wanted to catch a movie with my sis initially. then she was like too lazy to move out of the house... we never got to watch the movie, such predictable ending -.-

Just when I'm starting to really get into the holiday mood, I'm rudely awaken by the not so shocking fact that I have school tomorrow. and to make things worse, band. I really dont want to go to school...

exclusively nikki - the siberian husky

whee~
i got to meet nikki today. he's just so darn cute!! he's only 6 months old

Just outside the gate, I could already see nikki, running around the tiny patch of grass. Initially, i was a little apprehensive as nikki kept circling around me as though i have a cookie in my pocket. then my sis got nikki to sit next to me on the swing. he was so nice and warm and he had his head lying on my hand... i was like cuddling, patting it, then suddenly it started chewing my hand?! and his paw scratched me. gees, what a bad dog! but thank god, it was just some minor chewing - as in it doesnt hurt. but it's certainly a wierd feeling to have someone chewing your hand?! haha. nikki doesnt bite i think. he chews. haha. then I had dinner at kh's house. (oh btw, his house is like a big cultural shock ... absolutely not a humble hut like what he describes it to be. it's chock-full with priceless antiques)

brought nikki to beach after dinner. He was really eager to get out of the house, you know sort of jumping about and his eyes exceptionally bright.

it was a long way to the beach. about 3km? and he was so distracted by all the moving objects along the way, and has this tremendous desire to run after them... even moving cars, he'd probably get run over without a leash.

oh he has a dog neighbour, a golden retriever. they were like erm... "kissing" each other... haha till the golden retriever started pissing and we pulled nikki away. lol didnt want him to get dirty.

at the beach, we met this caucasian who had a border collie. it wasn't nikki's first time meeting the border collie. so they played together. both dogs had their tails were wagging wildly (one can really tell when a dog is excited) And according to the owner, the collie doesnt usually play with other dogs, but apparently the dog played with nikki so i suppose they do enjoy each other's company.

then we met this other guy who had 2 robust siberian huskys. they were about 3-4 years old. and the guy seem to know pretty much about huskys. so we let nikki play with his dogs. nikki is like a fat dog compared to the 2 husky dogs the guy had. ooh, and nikki really enjoys smelling the 2 dog's pee... silly dog. nikki needs to change his diet according to the guy. he needs to eat raw chicken wings and raw beef. such delicacies... lucky dog, i guess. and he also needs to go on a diet. like I said, he's too fat.

then we met yet another guy with a siberian husky. the owner named it sirius. and the thing is, his dog is all white, looks somewhat like a samoyed. he's 1.5 years old. nikki gave the dog a hug!! too bad it all happened too fast, so i didnt manage to capture that moment. haha and they played for a while too.

along the way, there was a raccoon and some cats which became potential victims of nikki's strong predatory instinct. haha luckily for these small animals, nikki has a choke chain. and we were like dragging him away from them.

then we brought nikki home... another 3km

nikki was really thirsty when he got home, gulping down his dish of water (:

Boy, i'm in love with nikki. i'll devote my heart to him, as for now only.

i'm so angry >.<

my sis promised to bring me to see nikki. and where is she? where is her bf? it's like 4 pm already and both of them still cant be contacted at all. nobody replied my sms. nobody answered my calls

i've been looking forward to meeting nikki since the whole of this week and now this. i'm so gonna kill her tonight if i dont get to see nikki for giving me false hope.

rahh...

FIESTA 2006 was simply great. A lot of preparation and hardwork just to get this whole big thing going, but it's all worth it - no, not the auditorium but the memories left behind and all the fun.

i finish 50 dollars worth of coupons~
10 for the 'you've got dunked' shirt
10 for haunted house
2 for ice popsicles
2 for herbal egg
the rest for drinks and sausages

but i'm quite sad that i didnt get to play the GLADIATOR in the end, also i didnt dare to sit on the spin spin thing :(
and I didnt get the SN doll!! ahh... actually i dont really know if i should get it. it's like 13 bucks... but i think it'll be kind of meaningful to keep.

after the fiesta, half of 4d went out to have class dinner at pizza hut. a pity we were split into 2 groups. still, we were high-spirited and made lots of noise, snapping photos away like nobody's business and talking rot.

it was an absolutely tiring day. my feet hurt like hell. and even today, i'm still tired. haha, but i really enjoyed myself yesterday

recently, i've been addicted to youtube!! haha GTO to be exact. arhh.. i cant wait for the hols.

i spend my sunday night at my aunt's house. I had my dinner there. I had chocolate cake for dessert, cause one of my aunt bought cake from awfullychocolate (supposedly quite popular for choc cakes, i think). Basically the whole thing is just chocolate, it's really nice and sweet.

Gees, then my second aunt said she needs to be home to "prepare" herself to watch the academy awards at 1 am (meaning she needs to sleep first and wake up at 1am to watch the show) My aunt's friend and I were like groaning "how disgusting!" haha. Ahh, her life is like so relaxing can!! bleahs. like i sleep at 1am, not wake up at 1am to watch tv. and apparently she sleeps at 1am almost everynight as well, why? because she watches the hallmark channel etc... channel surfing. woo... like some people just have the fortune to slack around. she wakes up at 8+ when the sun is shining. and there i am peeling myself from my bed at 6am and lugging my bag to school at 6.20

i want to retire as well :(

hoho

been emailing crystal... haha actually it started from last night when she emailed me. then she sms " i sent you an email" haha totally defeats the purpose. anyway i replied and send her an sms to inform her. and then just now on msn, i told her again i send her an email. she's like yah, i'm replying it now. i was like ok, tell me when you're done replying. gees, this is horribly lame.

ytd's tennis was really exhausting. i felt as though my heart was gonna collapse...
usually, i would dread picking up balls. but yesterday, i was hoping that the bucket of balls would quickly empty. i cant wait to pick balls cause i'm so tired from running around. yea, i'm so lousy not like that little ang moh boy playing at court 7. he's so good! well, he plays 2 hrs everyday. he's super cute. haha... anyway i felt as though my feet were on fire... when i was running. anyway, we learn smash ytd :D i'm quite lousy at it though.

after tennis, crystal came up with a "brilliant" idea. she said we could go ask for a final lesson with the prev coach. haha i thought that was a cruel joke but it would be super thrilling and funny. and i wouldn't mind paying 22.50 for that. it's priceless!! just imagine like after so long of not having lessons with him, we actually improve so much. he's gonna be so stunned. like all of a sudden:
we can hit from the baseline
we can serve
we can smash
our forehand and backhands stroek change slightly
we can run faster
we can side paddle

haha if we didnt play for one month, we dont deprove is already itself an amazing feat, we actually still improved. what a big joke. >=D

on my way home today, this indian man started talking to me. we were about 3m apart and well, the sky is quite dark (you know how late we're release from band)... i couldn't understand what he was talking about, i think it was in tamil. then when we finally meet at the traffic light, he kept apologising to me...apparently, he mistook me for his friend/neighbour. oh my, do i look so much like at indian?

not funny.

anyway yesterday on my way home, i met uncle richard. i decided to say hi after quite a long time, cause he had this group of kids with him. then i thought it's quite awkward. ok so i went to say hi in the end.

basically, he told me the before/after school community centre is no longer called baptist cc. it's now called friendship. like lol, wierd name. haha of course that's not what i said. i just nodded. heh. then he ask if i still keep in contact with my friends. like i left the place since p2. what's there to keep in contact about.

But i do remember a few people:

my carrom and art class friends from cat high: brooks, chee ping
my kindergarten friends: joanne, issac
a pair of twins who is one year older (i cant recall their names) one of them is nice to me and the other not so nice. and i'm always so blur cock, find the wrong person to talk to...
alvin: a very much older guy but he was very nice too... actually that was the impression i had of snrs before studying at sn. and at sn is like welcome to the real world. ok it's not that bad... there are some really nice ones, but also some really nasty ones...

i'm so fed up with xingtel. they charge all the funny stuff to my phone bill. though it's only a few dollars this time, it shows a lot. it makes one wonder what are they up to.

last time, my internet connection is also by xingtel. and it has limited connection time, 30+ hours and if you exceed, you must pay a lot. But, there was this month that I didnt even use the internet at all. and the bill shot up to 50+ And we still had to pay them cause they simply claim that you use it. And the following month, the bill shot up to 100+ for no reason again. so we cut off the connection immediately and change to starhub unlimited plan and it's only 50+ to 60. I mean what's the point of having 30 + hrs and a bill that is inconsistent and shoots so high and the xingtel people tell us maybe it's cause we were talking on the phone so long. like please, does anyone use the phone till the bill is 100+?? and we dont make overseas call.

similarly this time, they told my mom i downloaded ringtones on this day and that day. my phone is like on silent mode almost 100% of the time, what for do i need to download ringtones?? and we still have to pay in the end.

had a game of badminton with my sis. it didnt turn out too well. she said it's because of the counting of points. i beg to differ, i think it's because of the wrong way the shuttle cock was serve (in a downwards direction) i told her it was wrong. she didn't believe till i showed her the info on wikipedia. now you know why ki doesnt believe you either. .

Hehe, i was right about the wrong type of serve she's using ^_^

hmm... this week's events

monday:
thanksgiving mass
the night that i finish 2 ss essay and 1 source based :D

tuesday:
band?!
*too tired to study for bio

wednesday:
bio test.
maths learning club :/

thursday
elit test
amaths test
chinese compo
interclass debate - charity won
rushing the zblt

friday
O level talk
ft not in sch :(
the school is back to band 1
Ronin unrocked concert
tennis lesson - serve

today we had a thanksgiving mass

okay on second thought i'm not in any mood to talk about any mass now...

my dad just scolded me. poo. like scolded for throwing away 2 mini fishballs ?! he said i waste money. com'on it's only 2 mini fishballs.. Gees, everything is a waste of money...perhaps it's better if i never existed, then one less person to waste money.

so much for thanksgiving... haha i wonder where has all the spirit in me to give thanks gone to. :\

I haven't been keeping in touch with the TV lately. I felt wierd when i turned on the TV today. I was surfing the channels then I decided to settle on 4 eyes, which i dont really enjoy watching, but there's no other interesting shows...

anyway back to the wierd feeling, i felt like "wow, this is the tv... ..."

I guess I must have been too busy sleeping and reading undomestic goddess. I dont think I've been studying much lately, since there's only one test this week.

had tennis lesson ytd.
after like 4 days or more of no rain, it just had to rain ytd at 4+ PM. !@$#$%
But luckily we got to play at 5.30 (:

Ahh... my dad's swallowing my whole tub of ben and jerry :(
he just takes the entire tub out from the freezer and eat like that. never even bother to ask where it came from can, like as though the freezer gave birth to my ben and jerry :(

and he's still telling me the fish he bought me is like 3 bucks and the phish food i bought is 12 bucks loh!! and now 1/2 of the tub is gone, just like that when i barely even ate it

gees, tmr i'll probably get back my worst done paper this term... G.E. seriously i think my ppr for this term would be horrifying. i havent been doing well for all the tests except for AM and EM. I've been getting all the C6s

maybe my L1R5 is like 26? T.T

"You know, I have a lot to look forward to in the future. You know, this match, it's disappointing right now, but this match gives me a lot of confidence towards the future. I know I can do it. I know what level I can play. I have a lot to look forward to."

all i can say is this is only the beginning... whatever l1r5 i get, i'll work my way "down" to a single digit

anyway i sign up for this emaths remedial course which we're not suppose to quit. actually, there's really no need to sign up but then since i'm free on weds and i dont usually do constructive things, so why not? at most i can secretly study other stuff in class, it beats sleeping at home a 100x... i just hope the tic is my ft (:

oh, i forgot to mention this. the dentist in sn is quite nice. but that doesnt mean i like trips to the dentist. i'm scared of the pain :/
and i still dont like dentists. bleaghs.

haha, not much lessons today as there was only 11 of us left after recess (:
well, the rest went RJ to sell fiesta tickets.

i was kind of busy poppin' marshmallows into my mouth and basically rotting away. and we had a little debate during elit.

anyway, i have this idea that we should all have a laptop in class. why?

so that we can order food and pay with our ezlink, thus we're not restricted to food in our canteen
so that we dont need textbooks
so that i dont need to file all my worksheets. i can just dl them and drag them all into a folder (how neat!)
so that you can type out your notes during lesson instead of copying them down, or rather the notes can be transfered to our laptops
so that we can go online and watch ms swan during boring lessons~

tmr is valentine's day!!

and vdae in sn is a big occasion despite us being a girls' sch. what's wrong??!!

and my class also has a surprise installed for our form teacher. haha so sweet of our class right?? lol.

well, we love our ft and our ft loves us. oh man, this is so chummy :p

our welfare designed a card and they drew a cat and a mouse with a heart in the middle. cat rep our ft and mouse rep us. so wierd and it's kind of totally irrelevant. but nvm, it looks awfully cute :)

i made 5 chocs for vday and brought the whole class vday presents tgt with crystal. 5 chocs give who arh?? gees, i havent really thought of it. at most i finish it myself. it's chocolate marshmallow with nuts :D

haha, more cousins are asking for tuition.

bleahs... a pity they're too far away. like one is in woodlands?!?! And the other one wants to start only in March after he fails his CA. Gees, I really dont think I have much time to spare in March...

I think I'll tutor people after my O's to earn money for my trip to Europe :D

Anyway, I find it rather strange why my aunts ask me to tutor their kids. It's not like there aren't any other academically incline or older cousins available. I think they think I'm really smart. hoho... how funny. i'd better not screw up my O's.

However, it's quite different for my dad's side. one of my aunts (my cousin's mom) feels that I'm someone that lacks of creativity cause I dont have long toes like her child -.-
She said that I love studying and memorising that's why I score better in exams than her child who is smart but dislike studying... -.-
She always find excuses for her child when my results are better than hers; "oh, she was having her menstration that day, so no mood to do exam paper" or "aiyah, her paper was more difficult" or "your teachers are better"... and so on...

Okay, say whatever you want... Just be prepared to dig a hole and hide your face if my O's results are better than your daughter's ^_^

i'm so irritated now. Apparently my cousin's mom told my aunts that everyone in my cousin's school got A1 for chinese O's... so my aunt's were like asking me if my entire school got A1 for chinese... and i said no, which made sn sound so lousy, when sn is suppose to be better, like much better.

I dont believe her entire school got A1. If she's from NYGH, then it's more likely. I want to proof that what my cousin's mom said was rubbish!!! arghh...

Definitely travelling :)

Yay! I think I'm definitely going overseas this year, though there's no real planning yet. my aunt suggested Hokkaido today. I dont mind revisiting Japan again. Well, anywhere's fine with me.

I just came back from my aunt's house and I feel really happy now. I even packed my desk.
okay I'm off now!!

It makes me feel really exasperated talking to people who are so narrow-minded, and think that they are always right. And as much as life isn't all about academic, life isn't all about me working for your fame and glory either.

And why did you say it is unfair to the others? What's so unfair? If it was a cake, and I choose to give up my cake, why should it be unfair to others? unless the cake tastes awful. If the competition is like what you said, so ever beneficial to us, why should it be unfair? It's just my own lost. You're just scared that if you let me opt out, others will follow as well and you'll lose your fame. I saw it all in your face (anger+fear)- the sudden change in color and expression, followed by "then everyone will want to opt out" So you do know that not everyone wants the competition, then why are you forcing us? And the other reason you gave me was band is teamwork. like who was the one that kicked pple out of the team?? where's the teamwork? If you can kick people out, why cant I choose to drop out?

And what stupid testimonial? DSA? haha. where do you want us to DSA to?? You think it's so easy?? DSA into tuba. Play tuba concerto ah?? haha. I dont think jcs usually do that. Besides a testimonial from band is useless. I'm not stepping into that area ever again. I'm pretty sure it wont come in handy.

"If a person opposes even the possibility of there being a God, then any evidence can be rationalized or explained away. It is like if someone refuses to believe that people have walked on the moon, then no amount of information is going to change their thinking. Photographs of astronauts walking on the moon, interviews with the astronauts, moon rocks...all the evidence would be worthless, because the person has already concluded that people cannot go to the moon."

Had tennis lesson yesterday and we were 15 mins late.

The lesson was extremely exhausting. we did footwork. And because there's only like me and crystal, so it kind of felt as though we were running non-stop. We did that for 15 mins at the and it was worse than this morning's morning jog. Picking of balls was also very tiring. So many many balls. And each time we pick the balls, we got slower and slower. haha.

Basically, the atmosphere of the lesson is very different as compared to the previous coach. Now i dont feel as though I'm playing tennis. I feel as though I'm just running after a fuzzy yellow ball. It's like under the previous coach we're like playing rubbish music. Under the new coach we're playing scales. Yep, something like that. though I must say the current coach is a better coach cause i think we improved alot and he teaches much faster. And last time, I never felt really 'pushed' and I dont really need to run a lot to receive the balls. Now, it's like 15 minutes into the lesson, and I'm already breathless. itwas definitely tiring. But physical exhaustion is nothing compared to mental exhaustion (:

Official CNY holiday is about to be over - few minutes time. Jees it sure was great yesterday, meeting up with all my grandma, aunties, uncles, cousins, cousin's wives, cousin's husbands, cousin's wife-to-be, nephews, nieces etc.. basically a big family reunion. haha.

I remember in p1 my form teacher made me do a family tree. I lied. Oh come on' i couldn't have possibly put in all the photos of my mom's family. the tree would have been so lob-sided that it probably wont look like a tree at all. I'll need like a dozen vanguard sheets and at least a month to gather all those photos, not to forget that some of them are actually overseas.

okay back to CNY. Basically this year, i didnt exactly join in the 18 and under gambling den. I was quite busy socialising with my cousins. haha. besides, the gambling wasn't heated up at all, unlike the one outside for adults, which is minimum 4 bucks each game of blackjack. I heard that James (my cousin who is also my sis's maths tutor) lost 8 dollars in one round because he was gaming for wu tiao long (5 dragons). And as usual, the dealer was my third uncle, who wins lots of money every year. Well, he must have earned lots of money cause he bought the remaining 40 dollars of funfair tickets.

I spent most of my time chatting with my cousins and feasting on the buffet + abalone and adoring my nephew, HongJun. haha. he's so super cute. He's currently 4 going on 5. when my other cousin ask him what school he's in, he said "K1" haha... and he kept asking people to play his gameboy by shoving it into our hands. how cute. unlike some kids that refuse to share their toys. and there's also Jovin, James's daughter. actually i cant imagine james as a father. i mean he always has this funny sneaky smile. anyway he flashes color cards to Jovin before she sleeps to stimulate some kind of I dont know what. I can totally imagine him transforming Jovin into a maths genius in the near future.

Oh and i have this wierdo cousin. well, i found her wierd since young. she was playing with her calculator. like omg. and guess what she's 18 this year. playing calculator on CNY?? totally not cool. like siao like that.

Anyway I left early, together with Jason. Last time we use to call him wing wing. haha. i guess he didnt like that so he added Jason into his name. I was sort of chatting to him about random stuff. he's now the captain of bball team. i bet he must be sought after by many girls. haha. and i was there relating about how I realise after 3 years that I actually hate my cca. he was quite shocked initally. ahah but i guessed he sort of understands that in performing arts you dont get recognition for slogging your guts out. and any recognition is useless as well. He told me he regreted his Sec1 to 3 life. haha. someone like him has something to regret?? I'm quite amazed actually. I mean I have loads more to regret about. Anyway both of us have lots of things that we wanted to do but didnt do. sigh. I miss those days where I go my granma's house and meet all my cousins there and play games. it was so fun!! we use to play games like police and cops, ghostbusters, teachers and pupils, camping, crocodile in the playground... etc (okay, i know it sounds pretty lame now) then eventually, we got too busy to go there. jees, those were my childhood days. haha.

*yawns* i'll continue another day

got back physics paper. i expected better results but nevermind since there's 11 failures out of 26 who took the paper. i should count myself lucky to pass the paper. bleah.

I have officially change my tennis coach. okay, maybe not so official cause my previous coach still dont know. Oh well, I already got a new coach and first lesson's this friday. think he's probably going to assess us in forehand and backhand + running. hope we dont do too badly, then we can move on to smash and service.

Sigh. dont know how to tell my prev coach. i cant wait to break the news to him actually, then I can delete his number from my handphone. cause I scared one day accidentally sms the wrong coach. wah then will be like super paiseh. and if I leave the prev. coach number there, then my current coach's number will be right under his. or otherwise is I put Coach, it'll be above crystal's number. either way is a bad idea. I dont want to end up like phy who message ms low by mistake, thinking it's her mom. haha. I just have to think of a suitable way to tell him, either a lie or the truth. what am I saying... i'll definitely have to lie. there's no truth to tell him.

anyway, now I dont need to care about availability of the courts and also I dont need to pay for the courts (:

As I emerge into my last year in SN, I'm beginning to love the school more and more. Yes, i like going to school (provided there's no CCA) The teachers are really caring and they make an extra effort so that lessons would be more interesting. I'm not saying all teachers in the school but 4D teachers are mostly very nice, esp. my form teacher (that goes without saying). She's cool in the way she takes the class as a form teacher. I've never had any form teacher like her before, neither have I ever heard of a form teacher like her before. she seems really passionate about teaching. and she's always happy. no mood swings. and she jokes with us. though she can be quite annoying at times when she fuss about our uniform, she really cares about the class. the j.s. is incident is enough to tell that she's not like some other teacher that screams at you for doing something that's not entirely your fault. at least she bothered to look at it from our point of view (:
Also, she likes to do funny things with the class... the most recent one being yoga. haha!! really, 4D's teachers are mostly really nice and professional. they dont really practise much favouritism.

4d people are also nice. there's no politics so you dont exactly find any outcast in the class. and there's no distinct clique which i think is because our form teacher regularly changes our sitting arrangement.

How i wish i didnt have to take my O's this year... though i badly want to pass out of my CCA :(

life is so unpredictable.

i mean who seriously bothers to think whether he is going to die tmr? it is taken for granted that we'll live. next day, next week, next month. despite of all the stress i have, i'm glad worrying whether i will die isn't on my list. only someone down with an horrible disease will think so. yet again, we never know when we will be struck by diseases. I'm not refering to diseases like diabetes, when you probably only get it because you dont take care of your diet etc. I'm talking about cancer, tumour... They are stuff that really strike a person's life suddenly and jeopardise it. it brings your death date forward by many many years. 20? 30? 40? whichever it is, it brings it so close that you can actually see it. like just imagine in your student diary. Instead of writing down all the homework and tests and things you have to attend and got to do, you write stuff like the medicine and health checks and chemo one has to go for. and u paste a big sticker at some date which the doctor has estimated you'll die. okay, i think i'm a bit twisted in the brain to think of such examples. but i mean i'm really glad my timetable isn't like that.

Just when you think u're at the pits, your life is down the drain, life can always get worse. No, i'm not a pessimistic person. But I think life is a bottomless pit, there's really no end to how badly you fall back... I'm not saying everyone should start thinking they'll die tomorrow and go and enjoy their lives. I'm just saying people should learn to cherish their lives when health isn't one of their main worries yet. It's really a big blessing already. I mean what can actually be more distressing than a health problem? So no matter how bad things are, there's never a peak.

arghh... what the hell am I doing?? engaging myself into some quarrel over a dog...
and indulging myself in blogs and chats about JC and tennis......
I SHOULD BE STUDYING!! Get that?! Not trying to voice out my opinion in a quarrel of total irrelevance to me or trying to think which JC is better. Hello?? at this rate I'm not going anywhere. I suck. and I think I'm not gonna grow taller anymore... okay that was random.

anyway, GET YOUR BUTT OFF THE COMPUTER NOW!!

Chemistry lesson was fun and exciting today. haha I know I sound like some nerd, but it's true.

We sort of played a game, whereby each group has about 4 people. We were given 4 unknown chemicals and we're suppose to find out the cations and anions of it. In short, the compound of the aqueous solution. It was all rather easy to find out except solution D. But when we had the answer, she said it didnt match her answer key. So we re-did all the anion tests... Do until our solution D going to finish and in the end, it turned out that her answer key was wrong -.-

So where's the fun part? haha the chocolate treats! For each correct guess, we were allowed to pick a chocolate from a nice colorful box containing a mixture of chocolates that wasn't found locally, except for CRUNCH. Mine was Baby Ruth :)

haha we're a bunch of easily bribed kids. but seriously, the activity was fun - the thrill of guessing the correct chemical!

Oh, 6 people were absent, 4 were sent home. and some more are on hold. all of them had the same symptoms - fever. haha our classroom is germified!!

to all 4d people, take care ~

a foresight.

what a pox. tmr actually can have tennis at 6, but the courts are fully book. so we took this hour that generally no other people will take. 1pm to 2pm. i mean look at it, it's a crazy time to play. but fyi, someone actually book court 9 alr. anyway the coach say okay. then after that he say he got a class. haha i'm wondering if he's lying. cause i think it's pretty impossible for people to play at such times and how many indoor tennis courts does singapore have??

whatever ok. i'm just not going to get to play tennis anytime soon cause of next week's heap of common tests. but i'm proud to say i have finished my hw :D
but i really dont get the point of playing once every fortnightly... that's like even slower than a snail?? you know out of 30 days you only have 2 lessons... i dont seem to understand why last time when i had abacus weekly, i found it too frequent. and i was so bloody sick of it. i dont like abacus though. haha that's the big difference.

reformatted my com again... for the fourth time within 3 days i think. and today after i formatted it i must have gone crazy. after finish formating i tried to download Msn. i type WWW.MSN.MESSENGER.COM as the explorer address... ho, what rubbish was i typing. and i did type it all in caps as well. must be going insane because of my com. and i was busy popping my cadbury chocolate into my mouth to relieve myself... and I just finished the whole packet.

today band, a new jnr came in. not exactly a jnr though cause she's a scholar, meaning her age is 16 and she plays so fantastically well. i was interacting with her, or in other words, i was slacking during sectionals again. haha...

chem test was super sad for me. the thing is that it's not a difficult paper. yet, the cock-eye me is probably going to fail it. ahh, the only failure in the class... made so many careless mistakes. saw Magnesium as Manganese. how pro... and I didnt check the mole concept thing for excess at all. blahh... so wasted` i know how to do both questions!! and look what happen.. i think i minus plenty of marks already. all my innocent marks. grr.

*currently suffering from depression* ... not really because of the many many upcoming tests though.

rotten luck.

1. new handphone spoil within less than a month, and without a reason
2. computer spoil, also without a reason
3. people too busy for tennis/ bad weather for tennis
4. didnt bring umbrella out today = wet books + drenched me
5. tennis balls swimming in rainwater the other day, till now still wet. i dont know what to do with them.
6. first English report that i get back 15/30. because the teacher thinks my hostel's maintenance fee is too high and inpractical?! when i actually did some research.
7. I have 1 day to study for chem test
8. i dont know when is my next tennis lesson.
9. i got 'bashed up' into poop during cca fair
10. someone out there thinks i never go for practice for a long time
11. after so long, i'm still learning forehands and backhands
12. pimple outbreak
13. dandruff problem
14. ulcer

do i still need to elaborate on my bad luck? -___-

but something good happen. at least there's my neighbour to share her umbrella with me today :)

haha. this is a bit late, but nevermind.

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
been through a really 'important' competition - the syf, and other more 'minor' stuff such as go states and play tennis. (it's meant to be sarcastic by the way. some people feel that band should be no. 1 - rest assured it will be, number one on my things-i-hate-to-do list)

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
no. but i made more resolutions. hope i'll keep to them this year :)

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
not really. but one of my distant relative did.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no

5. What countries did you visit?
United States and Canada

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
Freedom (which i would eventually get), extremely good grades

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
no dates. cause i cant remember a single date.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
fulfilling some of my dreams

9. The biggest failure?
wasting too much time and effort in some things

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my sports shoe, my tennis racquet, my nike bag... oh oh, my ticket to america :D

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
dont know :/

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
her.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Trip to US, Food, tennis lessons

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
syf and learning tennis

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
EL CAMINO REAL

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
happier! cause last time this year, all my time was devoted to band. no time to pursue my interest or do what i really love, like playing hrs of tennis :p

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
studying, and exercise and sleep, eating and bathing

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
procrastinating. and band

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
i spent Christmas on 2005 the usual way. except that on the eve of eve, i went out with crystal.

21. How many one-night stands?
zilch

22. What was your favorite TV program?
war and beauty

23. What was your favourite song?
Zhi zu

24. Do you used to hate someone last year but no longer feel that way now?
yeah.
2
5. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yeah.

26. What was the best book you read?
All american girl

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i actually hate playing music. but i like listening to them

28. What did you want and get?
going US and tennis lessons + racquet

29. What did you want and not get?
her to leave.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
2005 is harry potter goblet of fire

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
bowling on 15, 30th jan

32.What is one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
i dont know.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
still the same?

34. What kept you sane?
everything that's good

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
bowie? raymond? min zheng hao? rain? haha i like them all, even sharapova ;D

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
dont know. i'm not stirred by political issues

37. Who did you miss?
no one. i think.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Kihan. i dont have a large social circle so i dont get to meet a lot of new people.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
changes take place. and also to wake up before it's too late.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
the lyrics from zhi zu

2 tennis addicts`

haha, that has to be me and crystal. yesterday, after cca fair, we went to my aunt's condo and play tennis. somehow the one hour there seems much longer than the one hour at yck tennis centre. anyway, court one was played by 2 twin brothers or something. they were very good. felt so horrible playing next to them. to make things worse, after a while, an adult group having tennis lesson came and played at court 3. it's so stressful to see a coach next to you.

it was drizzling. then suddenly, the rain got very very heavy. so we were totally drenched in the rain. went up to my aunt's house and stayed there for 1 hr + then we went back down to play again.

we rolled dry the courts. then played again. then it rained again. this time we went to the sauna and then the gym. haha. then went back to the courts to play again. i dont know if the rain is a blessing or what. because actually all the courts were suppose to be book by then but because of the rain, no one turned up. only this other pair playing badminton at the tennis court. so we played more. and just simply refuse to leave. haha. like nuts playing in the light rain, with dark clouds hovering above us. haha and we tried to serve :p

anyway, it was very fun, yeah but only towards the last hour or something. cause we improved?? ^_^ haha, dont know. but initally it was quite sian, cause the balls could not be returned. and there were people around us. but after the rain, there's like no one - free to do anything. haha it's so nice to run after the yellow fuzzy balls, when you return and it didnt manage to cross the net, you get the 'argh' feeling. haha but when you manage to return them, you feel exhilarated.

i shall blog about cca fair first

it was a big disaster for me. apparently she decided to play The Washington Post. I practically flip out, knowing that my concert file dont have the score. i went down to the band room with leonie to get it. but it was locked. and nat told me melissa had the keys. when we found melissa, she said the keys were with yizhen. and god knows where yizhen was, but the sec1s were flowing in fast. so i had to get back and play the song. and i took the score from seconds and played it with leonie and joanne. i knew that wasn't going to help at all because the first score was way way different. our part was something like a solo kind of thing and it's a big chunk. but what can i do? so i just sit there and continue playing the score. and when the important part came... obviously, none of us played it. it was so horrifying to watch ms sia's face turning from shock to anger. i thought i was dead meat. she came forward with her scrooched up face (mind you, it's in the middle of the performace... so she was actually still conducting) and she looked at our score. and she's like 'why seconds?' in a quite demanding tone and ramble some stuff... then she went back to her usual position and conducted the rest of the song. my heart was beating really fast. i thought i sure die after that performance. i had no mood or anything to play for any other song. and true enough she came to us after the performance and rattled at us to go and take the score. took the keys and went down to the band room.

oh great. a second disaster. we couldn't find the score. i dugged up the old scores, rammaging through it. and huiqing was looking at the band library. leonie was looking at the first scores. and thank god she found it. i was so super stressed out. i was tired.

i am tired of all these things happening now and then, being scared of getting fried on the ass by her one day. i dont know if i'll survive even if it's only another 7 more months.

it's 6.27am now.

gonna have cca fair later of which i cant really be bothered. we're playing marches and generally i dont think they appeal to the audience. Songs like Ross Roy and Pirates of the Carribean are more suitable for the sec1s and parents. but seriously, i dont really care how much intake we have.

i must say i'm actually more concern about the fact that crystal and i are going over to my aunt's condo to play tennis. it's wierd cause i dont usually introduce my friends to my family. well, there's always a first time for everything i guess. actually, both of them have met before at J8, but i dont think they rmb each other. i'm quite excited cum nervous about this whole thing and yet i cant really understand why. haha, it's not like i'm bringing a boyfriend to my aunt's house. so why am i thinking about it so much... tsk

anyway i hope that it wont turn out too disastrous, i'm refering to our tennis skills. apparently, we're gonna be at the centre court. i think we have a sufficient balls to start with, hope that after 2 hrs, we dont end with zero. lols.

had tennis today. backhands and forehands. it's so meaningless to keep reviewing it.. ahh i hope we dont miss anymore lessons. i dont want to every lesson do the same thing - waste of money. oh and we did running today.. *pants~* haha my legs practically went soft. and we didnt do it before we play tennis. we did it after... and i'm beat..

after tennis went to J8's coffeebean with crystal and drank the Belgian chocolate Latte. (note: we should stick to sugarcane drink next time) It's 6 dollars but i think it's worth the money cause i'm never ever drinking it again. not because it's horrible.. but cause it's kind of too thick. i dont know how to phrase it. but yeah, i'm not drinking it again.

on my way home, met debbie at the bus stop. unfortunately me and crystal were on the bus. i had this sudden feeling of wanted to run back and catch up a little with her, so alighted at the next stop and ran back. it's definitely not helping that i'm already so pooped out after tennis lessons. felt as though my latte was coming out. and while i was running back, i saw lots of buses... and when i reached i saw no debbie. and you know, suddenly, there's not a single bus... so i waited for the next 58 which was quite long. arhhhh... :(
so terribly un-fated.

went home straight after school today, only because i had a major headache in the afternoon so it's not exactly ponning band... then again, in band terms: you are never too sick to go for band

count me outa` that.

today's assembly was about our O's programme. i'm glad to say it's really not much of my concern. but i do intend to attend all the remedials for the first week and see how efficient the lessons are. i mean if they're good then why not right? if they're bad, i'll stick to studying by myself.

anyway, i must say mrs goh is a very good vp to change my perception of p and vp. i use to think they only to sit there, drink kopi and big money comes rolling in. but she has really let me know how much work a vp. actually can do. (note that i actually use 'can' and not 'have to') i think she has improve sn quite a lot. the staggered recess has to be the best example so far. i'm so happy with it that i cant possibly imagine having to share recess with 4 levels. firstly the queue for orange bowl is so ridiculously long that it drags on to the drink stall. and after you buy your food, you dont have any place to sit. and also less people are cutting queues now :D
but the thing that i most look up to her about is that, she has so much passion in her profession and the energy is her is like omg. i think most people are not exactly passionate about their professions and that's kind of sad.

and also you know the thing i like about the last breakthrough is that the doctors in dragon city are so passionate about their job that they go beyond what they are suppose to do. i think it's really god's blessings to be able to do what you are really passionate about as a profession. it brings meaning to life i guess. oh by the way, today's episode is nice. Ken saved tammy (one of his and Fen's celebrity patient),... i dont exactly know how to describe how he saved her but it's really cool just to watch him :)

holy moley!!... this is the 4th day i consecutively broke my resolutions :(
and it's the same resolution... resolution number 5:

i will not take anymore long afternoon naps. Only 20-40 mins

arghh... i need more discipline. but at least i'm working towards my resolution. Instead of the usual 3++ hrs, i only slept 1 hr today :)

great accomplishment!
a round of applause please :D

oh and the last breakthrough was nice today. but i missed out the front part where Nick, known as Fen Wangfu in the show, was suppose to have his op. and today's episode dont have much feature of Raymond, who is known as Ken Qi Baiheng in the show :(
i really dont like the Sonija Kwok (doesnt matter how you spell her name...). Basically she's the one trying to court Nick. she's so out of the whole show. she's just always crying. pathetic~
i dont think she acts very well. but if she's meant to let me feel irritated, then she's doing a wonderful job i guess.

i love the last breakthrough ^_^

ok i'm off. ... gonna have a meet-your-new-teachers tommorrow.
why isnt there a meet-your-new-conductor day?? i'll look forward to that day.

2006 first day of school

Hehe.. today's the first day i officially become a sec4.. the beginning of a new rollercoaster ride. though i must saying nothing much changed.

1. i'm still a geog elect and ss rep
i still have to "serve" tsw. ok that's exaggerating. she's not so bad.

2. i'm still sitting next to lorena
yes, i'm still sitting next to her even though there's suppose to be a 'new' class seating arrangement. i sat next to her for almost 3 terms last year. seems like mrs koh enjoy putting us together right at the front or smth. besides it being a little boring, it's ok.

3.i'm still seeing her and playing merry widow
one word: porkass.

anyway mrs koh is the grad. chairman this year and she said she's going to have kong ba bao for our dinner and the dress code is like jeans. haha... *_*

oh, oh she didnt come today. what a good start to the new 2006 year, with only 81 more band pracs left to go. this must be another of God's greatest gifts for me (i mean her not coming on the first band prac of 2006)

:D

ooh... i like raymond lam~
haha... he's cool, esp in the last breakthrough. *thumbs up*
and also he's so compatible with Leila tong
they got voted best chemistry for tvb <3

1.1.06

i broke 2 resolutions today already. haha. first, i got hook onto the last breakthrough. it's really a nice show. i'm so going to watch it every now and then. and i was so tempted to watch the repeats. but i manage to switch the tv off after a while.

anyway the show is about doctors volunteering their services to LifeForce and going to Kenya to help the africans by setting up medical tents there to educate them about certain diseases and basically cure their sickness. it's really exciting to watch the doctors rushing to cure the people, refusing to let those people die. and of course feel happy when they save this person and sad when they fail to save the person.

oh and the second resolution i broke is that i napped for 4 hrs!! gahh....

happy new year~

now it's 2006 :)
a new beginning...

2006 will be my last year in sn. also my last year in band. hehe.
i will savour every moment i slog at sn this year..., from the 4D classroom to bandroom.
i will appreciate every moment i spend in sn. be it bad or good, i know everything comes to an end and forms a memory.

i think this will be my last 7 months or so playing in band, playing the clarinet as i doubt i will want to ever join band again. after that band will just be a mere memory to me.

so much has happened in band. look at year 2005 and notice how much my life was revolved around band. all i had in mind was band, band and more band. the gold that our badge got will remain in the snsb history. our band was revived on 2005 after 13 years. it is certainly a moment worth remembering... i can remember exactly how i felt that time... tears of joy and relief proliferate the moment the results were announced. we screamed, cheered and shouted. the feeling was immense. but i "quitted" band ever since. i've reach what i want, and i'm done with it. now is the time to step forward to proceed on with life to do other things. i realise how much i have neglected my studies and homework. and to me then, it was all worth it - for the sake of band. thinking back now, i still think it's worth it. i gave my best but once as an experience is more than enough for me. i dont wish to dedicate my life to the band.

i have sort of completed my cca record. achieving an A2, hopefully an A1 next year. though it's not much of a difference. i worked for 2 days this year. blearghs. actually more than that... i worked for 2 days as waitress and earned peanuts - 20 dollars. and i worked for my uncle for few hours, and i earned 50 dollars. like whoa. that's what i call salary. haha. ok but enough of all these... i dont want to spend my teen years working. i have plenty of chance to do that in the future. i can do that for the next 40 yrs of my life.

i want my teenage life to be fulfilling yet i dont know what to do. NYAA is too exp a thing to do. i mean i really wont mind if someone is there to subsidise my jap/french lessons otherwise it's impossible to get my skill done. so my as well just dont attempt the whole thing.
haha but i took up tennis lessons. initially for the sports section of NYAA, now well.. it's just for interest, fun sake. and i love my tennis lessons a lot. so i guess that sort of adds some joy to my life. anyway it's always good to learn new things. yep. next time i'll learn cooking... learn to bake cookies :D

there's a high possibility i might be going europe next year. of course i want. i mean it's cool to travel to far away countries when you're just a teen. and i like travelling a lot.. cause you get to see and learn a lot of new stuff. each time i travel to different countries, i'm always amazed. haha maybe i'm an easily amazed person. okay..
in sec one i went japan and experience the hot spring. yes, i was so determine to go to the hotspring *_* my aunts were pretty shy about it. but come'on i dont get to go Japan everyday. it's either i try now or maybe i'll never get the chance again. so i got up at 5am.... just to get to the hotspring. and i went tokyo disneyland. Disneyland is a must go kind of thing. yeah, the atmosphere there is simply great.
this year i went USA which has been my dream since p3. i saw niagara falls - one of the seven wonders...the waterfall is really breathtaking like when you're there, the air is super fresh and cooling making you feel refreshed and energised. . and i went new york city. basically, it's really satisfying to go USA. a place where all asians should at least visit once. although most of the stuff there can be read in books, its really amazing and nice to see it real life. yup.

i must say 2005 year is an eventful year. loads of things happened. loads of things change. whatever changes it was, i believe i have adapted to it quite well, cause i'm getting on with life pretty well.
biggest change would probably be my perspective towards band as it affects a lot of things, such as my circle of friends,... etc. and some of the other changes are like my sis change bf. haha.. not that it really concerns me whether her bf is kum or ki. but i must say ki is a much better person. hoho...

i hope 2006 will be a good year for me ^__^
and good year for sis and ki <3
and of course everyone else :D