my new year resolutions (finalised version)

1. i will try to complete all my hw
2. i will be prepared for every single test
3. i will sleep before 2am (i'm trying to be realistic here.. )
4. i will try to hate band less :/
5. i will not take anymore long afternoon naps. Only 20-40 mins
6. i will read the newspaper at least once a week
7. i will not watch repeats of show (esp channel 55 and 255)
8. i will bathe early (meaning before 8.30pm)
9. i will not get hooked onto any tv show
10. i will not get hooked onto any game as well
11. i will reach home by 4pm on a normal school day and by 7.30pm on band days
12. i will try not skip any meals
13. i will bring my water bottle to school
14. i will not drink soft drinks except on special occasions
15. i will pack my bag every night
16. i will stuff less things into my locker
17. i will keep my desk clean at least every weekend
18. i will not stuff all my worksheets into my bag
19. i will prepare my uniform the night before
20. i will keep to my school diary
21. i will not fall asleep and waste time in class
22. i will spend at least 2 hrs studying a day
23. i will try to keep to my to-do list in hp
24. i will not snooze my alarm clock more than twice
25. i will pray to God every night
26. i will not spend so much money
27. i will talk less on the phone
28. i will procrastinate less
29. i will pay attention in class and understand what is taught
30. i will enjoy my life as a sec4

my sis will help me to keep to this ^____^
notice how i didnt put anything about my usage of computer here? ...

Springcleaning

apparently not many turned up and many were late.

the classroom is strategically located near the toilet :)
i mean it's impossible for a sec4 classroom to be near the canteen, so being next to the toilet is the next best thing already.
the balcony also has an extra space - can smuggle food back to eat there :)

and 5 of our teachers have changed.

mrs tan (pe teacher)... I had her for 3 years already.. and she's super nice.. haha
my new pe teacher's reputation + looks doesnt exactly portray what i call friendly and nice. like i dont want someone out there to scold me just because i'm not trying hard enough for 2.4km. blearghs.

i'm so use to slacking during w.j.'s lessons already. now suddenly change, may not be use to it. but i dont mind a new hcl teacher cause i really need to be less slack. and i think the teacher is nice. but quite low profile. maybe for once i'd like my mother tongue teacher.

chem. i think the new teacher should be quite nice. but i'll still sort of miss mrs evelyn tan...

physics. hoho. i dont know mrs ong well.

EL. i haven't seen the teacher real life before but heard of the name quite a few times. heard that she's another slacker... (whoops) i hope she's nice. and can teach but dont give too much hw :)

the rest of the teachers will remain the same. oh and that means, we'll have no male teachers at all. that's kind of wierd... but most of the male staff are quite incompetent, i think... except seth tan, alan ho etc...

anyway i had leg cramps while sleeping today. totally wasted my day away.
i went for a hair cut after that. quite short now... but still can tie up.
apparently my mom doesnt find it cut at all, and my sis only realise it after i showed it to her... and crystal can say my hair is quite short after i show her a pic of it.. ok so maybe this is a sign that i see too much of her :/
oh ya, i saw her for almost for 3 and a half whole days almost consecutively *_*

i'll set my new year resolutions tmr. time to sleep now...

Camp

Packed camp stuff into my new sports bag :D

okay i'm going to rough it out for the next two days (just kidding)...

band camp's the most relaxing camp i ever known. i was joking with my sis that i would pack lambchop there and nothing else. but seriously, you dont need much. you can easily pack your stuff within 15 minutes and be off. haha.

Physical training and circuit training is really nothing much. and you get to bathe for 1 hr. probably the worst part of band camp has to be band prac. but this camp no band pracs, only sec 1 investiture. so i dont see that much of her. maybe just 30 minutes glimpse? (i hope)

i extended the camp to 2 nights myself. sleepover at crystal's :)

my sis is going to use the com to watch her jay chou and 50 cents mtv while i'm away at camp. haha...

and little note: please keep 28ram away from my lambchop. i want lambchop to be a virgin

it's just a lame joke. haha

Lambchop (my christmas sheep)

my christmas presents:

1 big bar of chocolate
3 blank CDs
4 ear diggers
6 Ferrero Rocher
7260 nokia handphone
Bearyhip sheep soft toy

Duck soft toy

Precious Moments 2006 calendar

and money. haha.
thanks for all the presents :D

think i'll do more christmas shopping :)

(i koped this from last year)

+ Profile +
#o1. name: tracey
#o2. single or taken: single
#o3. sex : female
#o4. age: 15yrs 10 mths
#o5. eye colour : black
#o6. hair colour: black

+relationships+
#o7. do u have a bf/gf: no
#o8. do u have crush: maybe last time..

+fashion+
#o9. your favorite place to shop: junction8
#1o. your favourite shop: dont know
#11. your favourite brands: nike
#12. your favourite designer: ??
#13. have tattoos or piercings: neither

+specifics+
#14. what's your job: student.
#15. do u do drugs: i'm drug-free
#16. what shampoo do u use: head and shoulders
#17.what's your greatest fear: death and ghosts
#18. the last person who called you: Jinglin
#19. the last person who sms'ed you: Jinglin

+favourites+
#2o. color: blue
#21. food: alot.
#22. boy's name: alot
#23. girl's name: alot
#24. subjects in school: maths?
#25. teacher: mr soon and erm mrs koh
#26. place: my bed
#27. animal: alaskan malamute
#28. sports: tennis :D
#29. drink: hot chocolate

+do+
#3o. you wish you could live somewhere else: sure.
#31. you think about suicide: no
#32. you believe in online dating: no
#33. others find you smart: that depends on who are the others
#34. you want more piercings: nope
#35. you drink: not really. only on special occasions
#36 you smoke: no. hate smokers
#37. you do take drugs: i'm drug-free 'cept for medicine when i'm sick
#38. you like cleaning: no. but i like being clean :D
#39. you like roller coasters: too scared but i like em.
#4o. you act loud/quiet in a crowd: depends.

+have you+
#41. ever cried over a girl/boy: yea
#42. ever cheated over a boy/girl: mabe.
#43. ever lied to someone and felt guilty: yes.
#44. ever been arrested: no.

+number+
#45. of times i have had my heart broke: cant remember.
#46. of hearts i have broken: dont knw.
#47. of girls i've slept with: err
#48. of boys i've slept with: zero. except my dad when i was young
#49. of drugs taken illegaly: i'm drug-free!!!
#5o. of people i consider my enemies: 1
#51. of times my name appeared on newspaper: none i guess.
#52. of times you made a fool of yourself in public: cant remember...lol

+do you think you are+
#53. smart: can always afford to be smarter
#54. funny: sometimes.
#55. hot: no
#56. friendly: think so :)
#57. clever: can always afford to be cleverer too
#58. lovable: can be more lovable
#59: caring: depends.
#6o. sweet: i duno but i get lots of mosquito bites
#61. cute: can be more adorable, just not uglier
#62. arrogant: depends.
#63. cheeky: sometimes!
#64. photogenic: i can really afford to look more photogenic -___-

+your+
#65. motto: Hakuna Matata!
#66. best subject: com. humanities
#67. weakness: cant take scolding
#68. next action/ ambition: get to rjc
#69. last words: merry christmas(:

_____________________________

tennis + eve of christmas eve dinner

had our 9th tennis lesson yesterday. it wasn't exactly very fun or anything. maybe cause of the rain. besides we spend quite some time drying the courts :

i dont like playing in the rain/drizzle. makes you feel sweaty and cold.. and i dont know what la. so the feeling kind of sucked. anyway we did forehands and backhands. and em, ran round the court and do side jumps. that was tiring. ok i have bad stamina (i cant imagine when school reopens i have to do morning jog) and the side jumps look quite dumb. i dont know why. it's just very awkward, you know, i'm more use to running around than jumping... so i was glad when we didnt have to do it anymore.

oh oh, and i finally feel the difference between short swing and long swing yesterday. *gives a sheepish look* hehe. so basically it's got something to do with the frame or something... something like that i think... i cant rmb :P
and i tried using the coach's racquet... well, it's so much so much better than mine... send's the ball over easier and nicer. bleahs. and some my shots weren't nice with my own racquet yesterday... some didnt cross the net, some went quite high, some were out. blame it on the rain : cause on tues i wasn't hitting my balls all over the place.

had dinner at marche with crystal. the rosti wasnt up to expectations. swear it was nicer the last time i ate it. probably it's not fried enough. ate the black pepper chicken crepe.. omg it was so filling. but it's nice. then had one scoop of chocolate ice cream for dessert.

walked around in orchard. there wasnt a lot of things that i wanted to buy. and the myuk handphone pouch was like 7.90 i can almost eat baked rice at Swensens with that. or rather i would prefer to save it for my nike sports duffel bag. lols then me and crystal will look terribly alike... of course not looks wise.. em, the things we carry around.

anyway i see the 2 $10 evirob on my table. i was so rich last time. boos...

oh, oh anyway, last night on my way home i met my sis and ki(her bf) and my sis told me they donated $10 each to the poor children fund. and apparently that refers me : (i dont know whether to show a smiley face or a sad face) lols. haha thanks!! your donation means a lot to me.. without it, i'll starve and have my tennis lessons. with it, i'll not starve so badly and have my tennis lessons.

merry christmas~

this year feels different. i feel that i have drifted away from my loved ones (family and relatives) ... yet i feel more happy and loved. and because of that i feel guilty.

usually i would have been the one bugging my sis to buy christmas gifts, yet this year, she was the one getting all the gifts. even when both of us went out together, i was never really bothered to buy anything.

usually i would look forward to christmas dinner at my aunt's house. i would be so anxious that i cant sleep the night before. apparently not this year. it doesnt even affect me one bit. to me it's just another day. why? why have i become so unconcerned about my relatives (both dad and mom sides) my mom said it's because i've grown up and celebrating christmas is not fun to me anymore. really i dont think that's the reason... neither do i think it's because they didnt mention a thing about christmas presents :/

perhaps it's just true that i no longer can connect with my aunts. everytime i say something, it's being misintepreted. i'm tired of that. then again, maybe it's not just that. maybe it's cause now that i tend to spend less time with them - i barely met them this year.

somehow i feel closer to "outsiders". outsiders refer to everyone out there. people that i meet daily or weekly. or maybe because i have really nice teachers this year, like mrs koh (my form teacher). you know like since you have others that care about you, you dont really care. i'm actually closer to them... and i can understand them better than i can understand my aunts since i tend to see them more often and i think i feel more comfortable with them... although i know in face of real crisis, only my close ones will save me. but right now, i'm not in any form of danger. so maybe i dont really care. my aunts are nice people, but the way they show their concern irritates me. maybe that's why i feel as though i dont really want them to be concern about me and as for now because i have other people out there, i dont need it as well.

band again. i really lead a simple life :/

today's one wasn't too bad. except that i was made to sit on her right side while everyone else sat on the left side. i think that was really nasty of her. and mind you, i was less than 1m away from her. but after a while, she ask joanne join me. so it wasnt too bad.
enough of band.

anyway, i did one prelim compre today. yes. one pathetic one. tried reading king henry which totally bore me out. which is worse? hong lou meng or king henry... haha

tommorrow is suppose to be a very very happy day. i'll have 2hr tennis lessons and christmas dinner at marche. and then walk at orchard. i hope everything goes well. like it doesnt rain... *prays*

i got dumped last night
.
.
.
by my sis. haha.
she had overnight study and didnt come home. so i use the com until pretty late, just about when i finish chatting with my sis online.

Later that night, i was in my bedroom running and jumping around, tossing my tennis balls, messaging a bit, counting my racquet strings to sleep o_O i counted it 3x (horizontally, vertically, multiplication way) before i sleep. there are 334 holes in the string. and also counted my way to the center of my racquet. oh yuh and i stole her pillow too. this morning i was happily snoozing and snoozing my alarm clock cause there's no one to complain :D

i must say it's quite a wonderful night sleeping alone. with all the lame stuff i can do with myself, without anyone seeing me do it. lols. and of cos i got really tired after all that, sleeping was not a big problem. maybe i'll be nice and lend my sis my racquet so she can count her way to sleep for 2 nights. besides sleeping alone is a more major problem for her than me. and it's wierd how she prefers sleeping with someone whom she thinks is crazy (which is me. lol) than sleeping alone.

there's band later. i hope monster doesnt come... she will not come. she will not come. she will not come. *clasps my hand together tightly and prays*

arghs. my big aunt called me just now. she made some brownies and want my dad to go and collect them. ok then i dont know how the topic got wavered till my tennis lessons. and i felt as though i was being interrogated. first, she ask me how much are the fees. and i hate myself now for being so dead honest with her. told her they were 15 an hour. and she thought i was having one-to-one lesson with the coach. i'm like no. it's 3 to 1. then she's like "tsktsktsk... so ex." i quickly defended myself and said "it's the same for my other friends with other coaches" next, she asked "the coach just toss the ball and you hit back uh?" i really didnt know how to explain so i reluctantly said "yarhhh sort of.." then she said "aiyo. like that you can go xiaogu's(smallest aunt) condo and i can toss the balls to you for free or ask xiaogu to play with you" i didnt know how to answer that. i cant possibly tell her that tossing the ball is like so wu liao. i need someone to return my shots. and playing with xiaogu, my lengthy follow-through will look stupid. i mean she'll be somewhat shock i guess which would in turn make me feel awkward. cause last time when i played with her, she did no follow-throughs. i mean that time we were just having a game of badminton style tennis. yes, i was using my wrist a lot. and i dont really think she'll be able to return my shots now. not that i'm being proud, but you need to run which makes you sweat a lot. i dont think adults really fancy running after fuzzy yellow balls. see my point? i dont mind playing with my aunt once in a while, i mean i would enjoy it but, i wont be improving or learning any new strokes anymore. besides, i dont think my big aunt would really toss balls for me la. okay back to the interrogation i had with her. i manage to come up with the reason that can be understood by most adults when they ask you why you need a coach. i said i need to learn the strokes. and she said "actually can ask the coach to teach you the strokes then you quit then you can practise yourself" i came up with another reason to defend myself once again, "i need someone to correct my mistakes." then she said "yuh lah. learn a bit the strokes already then can quit" i really had nothing to say anymore so i just said "uh..." which can also be heard as "ah..." so that sort of concluded the convo.

but the convo sort of made me upset and rather pissed off. i dont understand why people are so all-for piano lessons. like you can just learn how to curve your fingers and press the piano from your teacher and just quit and practise yourself. musical terms can always be read from books... if you want to know how a song sounds like you can always buy a CD but apparently people still have piano lessons with teachers all the way till diploma? for what i ask you? i mean it's almost the same for tennis what. in fact for tennis, you really need to know all the strokes. i mean i just finish learning my groundstrokes and people are telling me to quit. there's lots of other stuff out there like: volley (learning on fri), smash, service, topspin, dropshot, etc. like my aunts seem so ever supporting for my sis to learn piano. what's wrong with me learning tennis?? at least my mom's not against it but she holds the same thoughts that i can get my coach to teach me all the strokes then i can quit. i mean if i want to rush everything and get nothing learnt in the end therefore unable to play anything in the end, i might as well not learn. just rot at home and bury my head in my books and ramble about band. you really need time to master strokes. and it's no use just trying to practise yourself a lot cause like what ms sia says (though i dont like her but i have to agree with her on this point), "you're just perfecting your mistakes" and it's no use having my coach teach me all the strokes and me doing it all wrongly and end up unable to send a single ball over the net. so maybe i dont need to know the fancy strokes but i cant survive with just the plain groundstrokes.

i mean i do want to learn tennis badly. otherwise, why did i pay my own fees, look for my own coach?? and get my own racquet. and defend myself when people interrogate me. i mean if it was just something that i didnt want to learn (like what i use to learn), i'll just try hard to quit without letting my mom know cause i really dont like it. just let her think it's due to other reasons. i mean that's what i did with piano and abacus. if i didnt like tennis why would i try so hard to learn instead of my usual try so hard to quit? and if i like it so much, why cant i learn? i mean my sis dont even like her piano that much. if she did love it to bits and pieces she would have practised more and be more dedicated to it. i mean i cant practise tennis at home... (break the tv or the ball flys out of the window..) and i'm not rich or free enough to go down the courts daily and no one's free to play with me so often. i know it's expensive. learning piano is just about as expensive. and so why cant i learn tennis without people bothering me. and i'm paying my own fees. and i still have to pray that it wont rain on days i play tennis, otherwise i'll be disappointed that my lessons are cancelled. guess what i use to do. i always hope for it to rain when i have abacus so i can not go for lessons. i mean it's a stupid excuse but i do go to that extend. i really hate it when people try to bother or interrogate me about the stuff i do. and give me advises. i'm old enough to think for myself :(

band. plus tennis (7th and 8th lesson)

maybe i should change the title... call it tennis (7th and 8th lesson). plus band lols. like i totally didnt look like i was going band this morning. and coming home is even more dont need to say. let's see how a band member should come home looking like:

band member:
in proper school attire clutching her clarinet case in one hand while reflecting on what to do to improve on the instrumental skills. considers what her conductor says seriously and feels totally sad about it.

me:
in my class tee with shorts, hugging my tennis racquet plus wearing my sports shoes... feeling all hot, sweaty, thirsty, hungry, tired... thinking about when should my next next tennis lesson be. and a little accomplished about how she managed to piss her conductor off today and get away with it.

Part 1. Band
it was relatively ok. think i felt high. and my conductor came but good thing i only saw her for 2 hrs (i consider that a blessing) then we played some hymns. and well, there were two parts to the hymns. higher and lower part. so i just thought everyone play lower part, i mean she did told us last time (long time ago) that everyone should play the lower part. then apparently today she decided to change her screwed mind again :/ ho boy. the thing went like that,

she: why I never hear the other part? do you all have the other part
me: yuh.
she: who is playing it?
me: no one. it's the higher part
she: higher part then is first clarinet play lah. if you dont play then who is going to play. you dumb dumb.

ok so i played the thing then i couldn't really get it. i mean all along i've always played the lower part... then she sat next to me. and she places her hand on my lap. i was thinking "oh man, get your freaking hand off my leg!!" then i turn. whoa i saw her smiling. the smile was super eerie. thought i saw a living ghost next to me. quivered a little. i'm not use to her being like that. thank god i manage to play my part... so she moved away. then she decided to say me again.

she: you very dumb leh, higher part you dont play then who play?
me: but all along everyone has been playing the lower part what
she (quite shocked): you are the SL and you dare to talk to me like that?! that means all along you have been doing sectionals upside down. who tell you everyone play the lower part? very dumb leh!

okay. maybe i should have said something like "who else would tell me to do something stupid like that besides you" my jnr wanted to say it's her... but well, she didn't. i mean it's abnormal to say stuff like that to her so i guess i can understand her for not standing up for me. haha. okay i'm crapping here.

then there was a second blow when we played merry widow like she said "Play C. Play B." to the clarinets. so what do you do? play C play B right. lols. i did. and i got scolded stupid again :/ she said i'm playing first so suppose to play C play D. like how the fuck am i suppose to know she wants me to play C play D if she said to play C play B?? she should have just said play the next note on your score after C.

then after that went into band room. i pissed her off again cause she ask me when is band prac during camp, i told her "i dont think so." then she's like "you all so good dont need practise then want to perform ah?" so i just went like "go and ask the com members." i didn't sound exactly polite saying that.

yeah hahah then at the end of the band prac we thanked her and god-blessed-her as a formality. and she just say "dont bless me lah, you all play until like that" I felt like telling her in the face, you think i want to bless you?? nuts. haha. so that marks the end of another band prac. and well, something happen but not of much relevance to me.

and she's crazy. she wants everyone to bring home instruments. there are no lockers at ycktc so like am i suppose to bring my clarinet to the tennis courts and roast it under the sun?! or just leave it in the shade (which is at least 100m away and i cant see it from where i am because of all the netting) and if it gets thrown away by people it's not my business since you wanted me to bring home the clarinet. should have just did that and let her have heart seizure.

haha and what am i suppose to reflect on? like how dumb a person i am? lols. i dont give a crap about band no more. but i still care about how nasty she is as a person. sigh, i hope thurs wont be dreadful.

Part 2. Tennis
more more more more backhands. like started with each person one hopper. which is quite a lot of balls. i think 50. but i think i felt pretty ok after that. then we play in groups. then after that we did some kind of drill thing. i can imagine the lady looking at the camera thinking we're wierd when we did the drill with no balls. i mean we're just running and swinging the racquet o_O ok it's not exactly embarrassing, but it feels awfully wierd cause you run after nothing and swing the racquet at nothing again. just makes you feel empty. well, of cos we did the drill with balls after that. think that drill sort of helped. then we played each person one hopper again. the second time was just extremely tiring. like i feel all the adrenaline rushing and all the heat on my face. think my face was red. haha. and i think i perspired a lot in that already very good weather. thank god, it's good weather... cant imagine if the weather is awfully sunny. (well, at least it's "hot" sweat. you get to sweat in band too. just that it's cold sweat...) ok but i think the coach was like the most tired among us. haha. like play non-stop for about 2 hrs plus receiving our funny balls at times, haha. i thought today was pretty intense. but he said next lesson will be intensive. actually i can imagine. like both forehand and backhand comes together. you'll run left and right of the court la. haha. simple. and maybe volley.

saw the little boy again and the coach commented that he's good. haha he has tennis lessons everyday for 2 hours i think. obviously he's good. and he's cute too. think the boy's parents earn big bucks.. like everyday they have to pay about 90 dollars. and the boy is so free. like everyday just play tennis. haha what do u expect from a 5-yr-old. but i never had that kind of life. all i had was piano lessons which i didnt enjoy and abacus lesson which is a total bore...

mime act. lols
when she scolds you, stretch out you hand. grab the scoldings put it in your ear. then pull it out from the other side and throw it back at her.

i dont think i seem like i'm going for band.

band member:
carrying a clarinet

me:
carrying a tennis racquet
bag containing: sports shoes, water bottle, umbrella

lols. ok. i'm actually quite scared for the sudden return of ms sia. i shouldn't say sudden. since she only didnt come for one band prac. my stomach has the queasy feeling again. totally sucks.

and while my coach (around 2X my age) wonders if his golf ball will fly beyond 200m, me the 15 year-old girl is thinking if i'm gonna get scolded the hell out of me today and be totally humiliated. i mean it doesnt make sense. like wondering if the golf ball will fly beyond 200m is such minor thing. it's like total rubbish to me... if i have to worry about that, i would have died of stress. or at least i would have been a walking acne by now. like then i would have to worry about stuff like: what if i reach band late? what if i cant hit my tennis balls properly? like omg. i dont have the time to worry about such minor stuff. hahah. that's definitely a bad thing. i rather worry about many minor stuff such as these than one big major problem which i currently have at hand.

god bless me. let me come home in one good piece.

maybe i should do some community service like flag day... (not book shelving... that's stupid and going old folk's home is too much for my weak heart to take) oh maybe i should go changrai next year. but that's so not me. but i do want to make my life more meaningful.

for the past few years, i've been so busy trying to acquire my cip hours that i couldn't be bothered with what i was doing. i mean just do and get the hours. that was all i could think of. i thought 100hrs was a lot. but before i know it, it's like done. i mean i actually did 100 hrs this year without realising it and it's suppose to be spread over 4 years to get 5 points.

past 3 years, i've done a total of 135.5 hrs. and if straits times had kept their word. it would have been over 200 hrs... haha i shall be nice and not pursue the matter.

maybe when i grow up next time, i'll have my first million before i know it... haha that would certainly be nice =)

fat hope. i just slacked today. wasted a perfect day for me to study. ok it's not exactly perfect since i have band the next day. i hope she leaves. or rather, i pray that she leaves.

this person i met at macs last time told me this, he said it was a true story (not sure if i remember correctly)

a lady was paralyzed and just laid in bed all day.. then this person saw that she was very pitiful cause she couldn't move and no one visited her. so this person taught her this 10 word prayer. and she said it every day. (out loud or in her heart i dont know... it doesnt matter anyway)... suddenly one day, she can move. and slowly she can walk. the doctors say it's a miracle...

the 10 word prayer (or is it finger prayer... ) goes like that

"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"

miracles do happen if we believe in them.

Linfeng is leaving for Canada tomorrow ripped this from tammy's blog.

haha i'm not close to linfeng or even know her very well... just a schoolmate. but we met on a few occasions. but the most "memorable" one is the time at the dou hua dian. me and crystal were sort of there to ramble about how things always gets worse and worse especially in band... then, shipei and linfeng were next to us. soon we started talking together. like totally wierd. you know you just meet a schoolmate and you talk like you've known each other so long. when i dont even know her name in fact,.. it was some what one hour later before we get to know each other's names.. and we actually talked quite long. i rmb going home very late that night. like 9 plus.

sometimes, i guess it doesnt matter how long you've known each other. yes, i can talk to a stranger so long and feel rather comfortable and yet sometimes i feel awkward talking to someone i know so well. sometimes, even though i have spent so much time with this person, it all comes down to zero. and i ask myself, "what the hell is going on?!" i feel as though i never knew this person.

take for example in 1D, i had this classmate call sally, i think she left for america. i didnt feel a thing. (i'm not being mean) . and there's nicole, my squadmate. perhaps i felt a tinge of sadness for that one... cause she was a really nice person, i think. haha i dont know her well. as for linfeng, i think it's a amazing i actually feel something's gone.. not the type of immense sadness though. just you know, despite her just being a schoolmate. and the fact that i just know her for like a few hours. i actually feel a little chunk of my life gone. i must say though i'm not close to her, i still hope to see her in the future. i believe it's through fate that i got to know her...

and as for people like my conductor, got to know her for 3 whole years. ill-fated... lols just get out!!!

Head Nano Ti.S1

bought my racquet today :D
after 3 to 4 hrs in Queensway. my sis said we're horribly undesicive people. ok i shan't argue about that. actually went out at 1 plus and reach home at 9. omg...i swear my mom just sort of pretended my racquet didnt exist. either that or she just assume it's my aunt's one.

i have major headache now. all thanks to the shrilly singing from the cherry berry' s (haha ok, it's strawberry shortcake) at J8 that penetrated my ear drums and kaboom... that was the final blow for my head.

okay i shall blog more about the process of buying the racquet now. since it was 3 hrs, should be plenty to blog about.

in fact, it was the first time I went Queensway. (Face it, why would a 15 year old band member ever go to such a place??) i was amazed i actually even reached there. first we took the wrong train, then alighted at the "wrong" stop. -______-

anyway, we took pretty long to reach. we explored the place first. like two aliens just landed on earth (felt quite sua ku, like I never even heard of Queensway...) it was quite a crowded place and cram too. the way the shops were located was very disorganised. walked around in circles and checked out all the tennis shops.

called the coach, and he didnt pick up. so i typed all the questions and was ready to sms. took me so long to type everything, and like he call me back when i was about to send it... -____- so i was asking him the grip size and everything and i was talking on top of this crystal confectionary... was kind of scared my phone drop down into other people's waffle. heh. couldn't really catch what he was talking about then half way the coach drop his phone. so got cut off. then we walk round the shops again. then i called back again. then walk round the shops again. then talk again. like dont know how many times... and the amazing thing is that whenever crystal ask me "what did the coach say?" after i put down the phone, then i'll give her a stupid look, and remain silent then say "cant rmb" then laugh... but i rmb the important parts. cause it was mostly rubbish. yeh, always hear all the wrong stuff. like he was saying his racquet is long swing. i heard as non-swing. then i'm like racquet got non-swing one uh? then i think he also heard wrongly. so basically majority of the whole conversation was like wrong. hahah. until he repeated again. then i realise it was long swing. haha. non-swing, stupid me. then i think he was like either driving or taking his racquet... then i heard as he was swinging his racquet... haha then crystal was like, why would he be swinging his racquet. come to think of it, the whole thing was dumb... and funny i guess. then he was asking me to do the full swing, i said the shop is kind of small... to do such a big action thing. then he's like go elsewhere. i'm like thinking it's so wierd, to take the racquet out of the shop and do a full strenth swing. blearghs. ok so i never did it. i'll just lie that i did. then he's like saying, tell the guy "my coach recommend me to buy racquet from this shop, and he say you should give me a discount" okay so i didnt tell the guy. cause i was like kind of awkward already, going into the shop so many times. in in out out. yeh. the guy was quite nice though. still give us some discount la. and the coach actually recommended that shop. didnt know my coach was refering to that shop until i purchased the racquet cause i was in the shop. so i couldnt really see the shop name. haha.

oh and i want to carp about this lady. blahs. another shop that sell the same racquet. wanted to buy from her initially cause it was cheaper there. but she annoyed me and crystal. she was rather cant be bothered to serve us after we had entered her shop a few times, cause we didnt look like we were going to buy anything and to her perhaps we would just a big waste of her time if she were to serve us. she started saying stuff like "talk no use..." blah blahh... she was like commenting she may not have the stock for the racquet of suitable grip size for my hand. and coincidentally at that time, i was taking out my wallet to check my money. i guess she saw it. so she took the racquet for me. then i was asking if it comes with free overgrip. and she was so nasty. she said i didnt need it. like i can just use the "cushion" that was already there cos my hand wasnt big enough. like i dont think anyone uses racquet without overgrip. then i was asking about crystal's racquet S2. then she said smth like nobody looks on the inside one.. people look at the outside. it's the same lah. please. inside outside, both write the same stuff what. then she said that was an old model. and their shop only sell new racquets. then she ask how much they sell...i know they were selling it ex, decided not to tell her, so i just told her slightly more ex. and she made more comments like, "aiya they know this kind of racquet dont exist anymore trying to cope more money." so i was like very irked by her. decided to buy downstairs instead.

when we went downstairs the person say it's not really that old. like less than 3 months lah. and the person was more willing to explain stuff to us, so bought the S1 and S2 racquet there. and it was in fact cheaper there after discount. and it comes with free overgrip that was suppose to protect the "cushion" she was refering about. cause changing the "cushion" cost more. she's just another stupid woman like my conductor...

shall not spoil such a beautiful night by talking anymore about such people. going off to sleep...

cockroach sighting...
saw a cockcroach when i open the big dustbin. and so i slam the dustbin shut, but the cockroach still manage to come out. then my sis sprayed insecticide at it... lots of it. but it refuses to come out.. yea, then shut the thing where the dustbin is. so it's like a gas chamber sort of thing. sort of ignored it.

then i was coming out from the toilet when i saw the cockroach squeezing through the gaps (note: cockroach is a highly compressible solid too). was shocked and frightened that i took a step and nearly slip on the toilet floor. this kind of stupid cockroach that make me nearly fall will never be forgiven. smash it dead with the swatter... gah, if i fall i can forget about playing tennis next week. and about all my busy plans. anyway it's a good thing it's just a M size cockroach that cant fly. if it was a L size black color flying one, think i would have fell in the toilet already.

i love christmas songs
i love christmas dinners
i love christmas trees
i love christmas presents
i love christmas movies
i love christmas gatherings
i love christmas!!

Christmas is my favourite day all year round :D

okay enough of these chummy stuff. but hey, i was sincere when i mentioned those *points above* yep... anyway i guess, i'm buying my own racquet afterall. nevermind. i'll just hug my racquet to sleep on christmas... just think, whatever financial crisis i'm in now, it'll be over when my birthday comes, when i turn 16. can watch NC-16 already (must find someone go and watch with me) oh boy oh boy!! haha but seriously, i'm not that keen about the movie. i just thought 16 sounds like a wonderful age. i mean despite all the O's and stuff. 16 seems grown up. anyway i just watch the mo zuodong show. it's really nice. by the way, much nicer compared to the chef's show...

magic of love + dumb nightmare

as usual, i was talking on the phone with crystal. the convo went something like that

me: i'm watching a magic show on the 24th by a pastor.
crystal: is it some kind of christian influential show?
me: yea. i think so. otherwise why would my aunts ask me to watch a magic show
crystal: think i watch it before... it's like this father daughter and the head chopping thing
me: i think the magic show is called magic something love
crystal: yea i think it's the same show. magic of love
crystal: if it's the same show, she'll 100% leave
me: yup. so will she leave?
crystal: thereotically, yes.

god, everything is so related to my conductor. i want her to just get out of my life. she expects me to sacrifice so much time in band. that's like wanting big chunks of my life. it's just not right. not worth it. i dont owe her so much.

anyway about the dumb nightmare... i dreamt that me and crystal went racquet shopping. this stupid shop guy tried to sell us a racquet that was about to snap into 2 pieces. good thing we realised. then he tried to sell us a triangular racquet?! i thought it was very wierd... but the whole shop was filled with many of these triangular racquets. i was reluctant to get it. but crystal said "if we dont get it now we'll never get it. " then i was quite pissed off. then i saw some normal looking racquets in the shop. but they were all plastic racquets. then crystal receive a call from nelson. then she said "get the guys to come la. then they can tell us which one to buy" so she passed me the phone. and i was actually talking to nelson and it felt quite good. then i woke up. haha.

in case anyone out there is assuming, nelson's not my bf or anything like that okay. just something like my best friend in pri school. but i havent keep in touch with him for quite long. I kind of miss talking to him. if there's any friend that knows me best, it has to be him. somehow he knows almost everything about me, including my wierd side, which not many people know. dont think anyone in sn knows besides huifang cause i've learnt to control my stupid mouth to keep my own secrets to myself... haha and yea, i still have my wierd side with me. just maybe more recessive. and as long as i dont show or tell anyone, no one will know *smiles*

i finally finished chem. it's so much. and i hate chapters like atmosphere and metals. like the stuff are mostly repetitive and boring. next week is physics. *collapse*

just caught the santa clause 2. it's a nice show. i like the guy acting as santa's son. quite good looking. apparently i'm in quite a sucky mood and it's not really within my control. it's all about the hormones. so people keep out of the way. wish i can get out of this mood soon. yea soon.

my busy schedule as of next week... orange days means days that i will have completely no spare time on that day.

Sun 18
Shopping for racquets
Shopping for presents

Mon 19
Buying racquets

Tue 20
Band
Tennis

Wed 21
Intensive study
Homework rushing

Thur 22
Band

Fri 23
Tennis
Christmas dinner with crystal
Christmas shopping

Sat 24
Magic of Love
Christmas dinner with family

Sun 25
Christmas lunch with family

Mon 26
Intensive study
Homework rushing

Tue 27
Band camp

Wed 28
Band camp
Dinner at heartland
Sleepover

Thur 29
Sleepover
Breakfast at Deli
Tennis

Fri 30
School spring cleaning
Shopping for school stuff

so yea. i'm so busy, pretty intense week ahead. no free days... i'm fully booked by all my committments and stuff. cool :D

pimple problem.

gahh. i'm starting to grow pimples.. okay i know this is puberty but i thought i wasnt gonna grow pimples since i'm already 15 going on 16 soon. i thought pimples are the initial stages of puberty. i dont think i'm suppose to only start growing pimples now. so maybe i'm some late pimple bloomer or something. that's good also cause i need to grow taller. or maybe i'm too stressed up recently. blahh. just get those pimples and blackheads off my nose. yep they only grow on my nose. and my nose isn't exactly oily. ok i dont know why. maybe i'm morphing into a big pimple soon.

i'm going to finish revising chemistry today. no more procrastinating. then i'll do one jian bao. i'll laugh my head off if i can finish my holiday homework at the rate i'm going. it's slower than...um, a slug. i hate english lit. i havent even touch king henry. i bet mrs chan would go like "i hope everyone has read the book at least once" then she'll ask "who had read the book more than once?" probably a few from my class, like ivy. then she'll go like "has anyone not read the book?" i'll turn and see... no one raises their hands. so i keep my hand down too. then she'll go like "ok. good. everyone has read the book." and i'll feel so absolutely terrible. i can just visualise this whole thing. i must not let this happen.

one more week plus to christmas. i want the christmassy feeling.. the warm feeling. the feeling where everyone is happy and celebrating.

Joy to the World Christmas Carol Lyrics

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare Him room,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven and nature sing,
And Heaven, and Heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the world, the Savior reigns!
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat, the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

maria sharapova

i've always heard of her name, thought she was an indian initally cause of the name *hides face*

anyway i got to watch her play at the davis cup semi finals i think, against mauresmo. she lost. blah. i was hoping she would win cause she was cool and pretty. too bad it's not a beauty pageant. by the way, she's actually a russian. now ranked fourth on WTA, was the first Russian to win Wimbledon and first to reach the No. 1 ranking spot. and she's still a teenager.

(one of the interviews...)
MARIA SHARAPOVA:
Oh, yeah, if I wouldn't be enjoying it...
I'm that kind of person, whatever it is ‑ tennis or writing a paper or something. If I wouldn't be enjoying it, I mean, if it's something necessary I would do it, but if it's not, I say, you know, get it out of here.

a fantastic answer wasnt it? though pretty ordinary. my new idol. okay i've never had any idol before. i think i'm crazy like what my sis said.

my mom just said something like "whoa, the weather very hot. imagine if you have to do drills under this weather" i just smug at her. it's quite a funny thing to hear when u actually play tennis under the toasting sun at even odder hours. you feel all the fluid evaporating from your body and the sun's too glaring to even see the tennis ball if u happen to stand on the other side of the court. and i'm not the cap-wearing type of person, unless someone get's me a nice nike cap or something. and ytd, cause i was wearing sports shoe i didnt realise how hot the ground was. crystal was in canvas shoe and she said she felt as though she was walking on a ground that was hard and boiling hot, like re guo shang de ma yi. lols.

you feel really happy when a cloud covers the sun, but erm like before you even get to count to 10. the cloud moves away...gees maybe my mom'll think i'm crazy if i let her know next week i'm playing tennis 3-5 on tue and fri. think i need to bring 5 bottles of water. cause i dont want to drink anymore wierd water from the cooler.

oh and ytd when we lost our way we said smth funny. like call the coach and tell him we got lost while trying to warm up and ask him what to do next. then he'll say "head rotation." argh. it doesnt sound one bit funny here. okay nvm.

off to hit the books...

argh my left eye's red and a little swollen *rubs eye*
maybe i'm morphing *stares at crystal*

haha apparently when i called her last night, she sounded funny. lols. then she started talking about morphing, then she said i think people morph. okay i think that was really funny. maybe she'll start to sound wierd and talk funnily. *grins* i was just hoping that if i were to morph, i'd grow taller. boos.

i think next 2 weeks is suppose to be very fun. there's 2 hrs of tennis on tuesday and 2 hrs on friday and it's under the bright bright sun!! ok, that's not exactly fun. makes me dehydrated. but no choice only got all these time slots. and the coach actually asked if we want 7-9am. initially i thought it was ok (must be the wierd water making me dumb) then i thought for a while. it sounded crazy loh. i have to leave my house at 6.20?!! and crystal and huiqing even worse. haha. leave at 6am ah.. lols ok then we'll have christmas!! then sleepover at crystal's house. sounds nice without all the band pracs. band pracs are cool if she's not here. gahh. *throw stones*

my dad is a major nutcase can?! like today he started telling me that if i dont charge my digi cam at all, the battery will spoil. so i just replied in my monotone "ok." then he handed me the charger which he had kept all along. good that at least he knows that since he is keeping the charger i cant charge whenever necessary. oh and why did he keep the charger?? cause he scared i lose it. so he said again, must charge it even if you never use. once again, i gave the same sort of cant be bothered reply. he walks out of the room, and seconds later he returned again. and asked me suspiciously if i lost my digi cam. i'm like "no. it's on my table." in another of my cant-be-bothered-with-him tone when i'm actually feeling very irritated already. like what the hell has the camera got to do with him?! it's MY digi cam. i can dump it in the drain if i want. lols.

yesterday, when he found out about my handphone he also commented that i was wasting money buying a new phone cause i dont need a new phone. and i just ignored him. then he ask me to return him my previous phone. and i return it to him happily, forgetting about all the messages and contacts i kept. so i ask it back from him pretending that i needed to copy some contact numbers over. so i deleted the messages and like the tennis coach's contact. good thing i realise it. cant imagine if he were to find out i was having tennis lessons when they are 60 for 4 seesions. and apparently next week alone it'll cost 60. i dont care, as long as i'm happy. i dont see why he should care since i'm not getting any money from him. then he ask me about my plan. i said i sign contract for the plan. then he said i was wasting money again. then he asked "your phone good meh? your camera how many mega pixels?" i replied "i dont know". and for the matter of fact, i really didnt know. why would i care? as long as pictures appear as they are taken it's okay for me. then he commented that i anyhow buy phone, never think and consider and weigh all the advantages and disadvantages, say i waste money again. okay whatever.

had enough of his waste money business. like the things belong to me. why do u bother so much. like how i want to treat it and everything?? good thing he doesnt know i have an mp3. and he'll probably think i'm wasting money getting a racquet. i feel so fucked up by him already. that's why i tend to not let him know what's going on so he wont question me so much and spare me from being irritated with him. gahh

reverse...

band was great today. and tennis was not so good. wierd eh?

firstly, cause mr ong came. it sort of ignited my love for band. i love playing simple christmas songs. i hope that woman disappears forever. i hope she doesnt sign the contract. i want her to leave.

after band, crystal, huiqing and I had lunch at macs. we all ate different student meals but all contain fries. the fries were soggy and hard which was gross. my nugget wasnt well cooked either, but by the time i realised it, it was already my fifth nugget. i ate the fries anyway.

then we had about a one hr walk. tried to walk to ycktc but got lost. ended up walking in circles. few large circles and many small circles. under the scorching sun. gave up in the end and walked back to school (back to where we started) to take a bus there. surprisingly we made it there even before time but we were really thirsty and sweaty by then. crystal filled her bottle with the cooler water and all of us drank it. and about 2 minutes later, all of us had a horrible feeling in the stomach, feel kind of bloated. we had tennis lessons in our bloaty stomach, which was really gross. . and coach was like "must push the racquet harder to hit the ball...", like the more i push, the more i felt as though the food bolus is getting pushed out of my stomach, the fries felt as though it was gonna come out anytime. lols. and i got more thirsty trying to hit the balls. thirsty yet bloated. i drank more water but this time from my bottle. felt ok.. just a little more bloated. continued the game. then huiqing started telling me she can feel the fries. i was like extremly gross out by what she said.

then after tennis, drank more water from the cooler, along with crystal, trying to replenish the dehydrated us...the water tasted wierd. it felt wierd too like as though it was some sort of food that just blobbed into ur stomach. and like almost 1 min later, i felt like vomitting. yes, i could feel the fries in my mouth along with the acid. it was really gross. my stomach felt all bloated again. then we left the place.

at the mrt, i felt worse. reached yishun, walk a bit and soon all of us felt terrible and huiqing decided to go home. crystal and i went j8. we walked around the food court. the look of the food, the smell of the food... everything felt so greasy. made us wanna puke even more as we imagine the amount of oil in all the food the people are eating plus we couldn't find any seats. went down to KFC and bought 7up to burp out whatever it was in our body making us feel so terrible and ate cole slaw. felt a lot better after that.

"the water is thick"

mid-december crisis

i couldn't sleep the entire night. i dont think i was scared to that extend. but perhaps i subconciously fears it. deep inside me i still fear it no matter how many times i reassure myself "whatever the outcome is, god always wants the best for me".

each time i turn and wriggle to try to get the right position on my bed, i think of what might happen. sigh... i'll probably know the results today. god bless me...

"next time band just do the minimum, the rest is no choice"

there's tennis lesson tmr, there's also band tmr... sucks.

major turn in life

my life will take a major turn soon. i'm getting quite emotionally unstable... keep having nightmares recently and frequent sudden wake-ups in the middle of the night. i cant sleep well either.

this is almost the same as taking a rollercoaster in the dark. should things go my way, the ride would come to an end soon, and i'll hop off the rollercoaster, still mentally sound.. and be very relieved that the whole nightmare is over. however, should things not go my way, it'll be another inclination to a much higher level, ready to have an endless deep drop... which my heart and brains cannot take. but my body will take. i know that, from my experience with my science teacher. the ultimate sinking feeling that i had in pri6 when it was announced that he'll be my science teacher. i choose not to believe, i thought it could have been a mistake, sadly but true, he entered the class.. i thought that was the end of me. but i survived. it was terrible but i made it out in one piece. i really cannot go through the ultimate sinking feeling again. i'll break down. yes... imagine just when i survived p6,and went to sec sch thinking this is a whole new beginning. i was partially right. it was a new horrible beginning. not as bad but comparable since the duration is twice as long. a series of bad events. i need a break. a break from all these rubbish. preferably a break that can go on forever.

sometimes i wonder if i'm curse or something, keep on having sickos in my life. what's wrong with me?? am i like some magnetic field for these people? why must i constantly meet them? is god trying to train me to be a tougher person? i really dont know. wish i had some idea. i'm not asking a lot, i just want a happy life. ok maybe i've been asking for too much. but please let this be another miracle, just like how i got my wonderful form teacher which is really difficult to get, how my instru got repaired without me being trouble, how the band got gold despite the slim chances(okay, this example is a little wierd) Just let this be another miracle. let 2005 have a good end and a wonderful start for 2006. i would really be grateful.

bless me. whatever the outcome is, i know i'll survive because god chose to put me through it. i'm grateful that there's even a chance for this whole thing to occur. this little hope. i'll cling on to it tightly.

5th tennis lesson. think i'm going to lost count at this rate. though i also dont know what am i counting for. anyway, more toasting under the sun today... even worse today in fact. but it's ok cause there was a little shade at the side of our court =)

did the double backhand. think i'll soon forget the forehand. both are so different :/ my legs didnt hurt alot during tennis. and we're thinking of squeezing all the lessons together. like omg. i need time to get money. anyway the coach was like asking if we wanna jog. think i'd probably collapse after one round. i'm like so thirsty that i gulped down all the water from my bottle. then continue from crystal's bottle. and then sugarcane drink. lols. it's a lot cause i dont normally drink so much water. i want a tennis racket before christmas but i cant afford it... gahh

You scored as Intrapersonal.
You prefer your own inner world, you like to be alone, and you are aware of your own strengths, weaknesses, and feelings. You learn best by engaging in independent study projects rather than working on group projects. People like you include entrepreneurs, philosophers and psychologists.

Intrapersonal 100%
Interpersonal 82%
Logical/Mathematical 75%
Visual/Spatial 68%
Bodily/Kinesthetic 61%
Verbal/Linguistic 32%
Musical/Rhythmic 21%

taken from: The Rogers indicator of Multiple Intelligences

Hahaha it's kind of true that i prefer individual projects. and i'm well aware of my own strengths, weaknesses and feelings. but it's not true that i like to be alone... lols

i think i probably wont be able to walk after today's tennis lesson. now is like my legs are hurting even when i'm walking... muscle tear that kind of pain. anyway i probably wont need to walk too much besides drills on thursday. not like i can be bothered with it. i'm just so sad that band is starting soon. like few days away only. i even had a nightmare.

"ms sia is here already!!"

freak. it rained again. band and tennis arent exactly good friends. poo. always rain when there's band that week. this sucks. change the time to 4pm and still there's only one court left. court 7. is it a curse court or something? nobody seems to want it. and people are playing tennis like every hour. arghhs... meeting crystal for breakfast later and walk and lunch and walk until 4 then have tennis. like omg. walk so much..ok at least i should be thankful that there's still lesson today and there's no band :D

ho shit. i suddenly remembered i told my dad i was going to school till 3pm. but now i wont be home till 6pm... arghs. suppose i'll lie again. say extended band pracs haha. by the way, i was thinking of going crystal's house for sleepover after band camp. like sleepover 2 days. quite fun but dont know what to do there. and i'll feel so horrible, dumping my sis together with my dad in my house. who know's what will happen while my mom and supposedly me is gone. maybe my house will be beyond recognition when i come home. lols. okay my sis probably wont find it funny.

heh. i dont know if i should go genting with my mom. it's 29th nov to 1st dec. apparently i have this rich aunt that lives there who park 5 cars in her house and the 2nd storey of her house has 6 rooms. but too bad i'm staying in a hotel cause the rooms are all filled with her family. okay, that's not to bad, getting to rot in the hotel for a few days. but i wont be able to be online or talk to anyone besides my cousin. so basically i'm like separated from technology. boos. there's a theme park there. but i'm too chicken for the rides so forget it. i've no money to shop as well. bahh. should i go? i cant think properly now. with stupid band bugging my mind.

anyway tennis tmr. and apparently lots of people enjoy going down to ycktc on mon morning just to book the courts. phone booking is only open at 1pm and i called just about that time. booked court 7. it's the only court available... there seems to be people playing tennis every single hour. like why on earth is everyone so free??

oh, crystal just said ET may leave. freak. why does she have to leave?? (in case, you're wondering, she's not an alien. she's my chem tcher) she's a good teacher. gooood chem teacher. i was beginning to understand chemistry. and she's nice if you try to like her. haha not like my conductor. i tried viewing her in all directions, doesnt work that way. i really tried. boos. i hope it's just some dumb rumor.

"i mean seriously, when she talks to you you feel as though she worships you. i dont knw why"

actually i intended to wake up at 7am but apparently i snooze all the way till 9am bleah... well, at least it's not very late. today, i'm not gonna read anymore blogs!! spent the whole day reading. what a complete waste of time. anyway i had a nightmare about me and crystal getting scolded by csm and well, something else -simply horrid

i cant understand physics for nuts. and the textbook is not helpful at all. like all the examples in it are so stupidly simple. argh... i need more abstract examples either that or give me simpler questions -bangs my head

christmas is coming.

this year no christmas mood. maybe it's cause i'm the one with the empty wallet ): and i dont really want anything besides a tennis racquet and a few tennis balls. haha.

other minor things i want for christmas:
deuter bag
tennis shoe... (haha if anyone wants to give to me, i wont mind)
handphone pouch (mind you, not a sock k)
cookies and chocolates
full house vcd/dvd
soft toys?
comforter
school shoes

okay see i have a list here. but i cant ask for a deuter bag, tennis shoes, handphone pouch, full house vcd/dvd, comforter. so there's only like not much left. poo. but seriously none of the above really matters to me. like a bag, i can wait till jc. and full house vcd/dvd, i probably have no time to watch. comforter, i can always use the old one. sigh but without a racquet by christmas i'd be so upset. but i doubt i would let myself be so upset. i'd probably fork out the money somehow and buy one for myself. not forgeting it's 100 plus. argh.

tennis.. an expensive sport. why?

Court fees
badminton you can just play anywhere not like tennis have to book courts. and the courts is like 9.50 on peak hours. and 3.50 on non-peak hours(the super hot hours on weekdays)

tennis balls/shuttlecocks
and you can buy plenty of shuttlecocks with 9 dollars but only 3 tennis balls with that. buy a plastic shuttlecock and it can last forever. a tennis ball will lose it's bounce...

racquet
a relatively good badminton racquet probably cost 15 dollars. an okay tennis racquet costs 100 plus

shoes
you probably can play badminton using anykind of shoes. tennis wears out shoes quickly, even running shoes. so there u have it, the tennis shoes in the shop with it's big price tag beaming at you.

lessons
you can play badminton without lessons. but not tennis. and badminton lessons are not even half as expensive. tennis lessons cost a bomb.

although i can always live without a racquet. like just use the coach's one. haha but i want a racquet.

"you expect me to pay for that woman? you're nuts!!"

had the 4th session of tennis yesterday. felt as though i was toasting myself under the sun. well, that's the price to pay for non-peak hours. but i rather the weather be hot than wet. yep. just simply did more forehands. learning double backhand next tues. and after that i bet i'll feel horrible inside out. it's back to band again.

anyway saw this cute little boy playing tennis at court 2. he's so good at tennis... and he's probably not even 7 i think. he's a westerner.. that mostly explains why i find him adorable.. ok. anyway he made very funny sounds like "ugh.." and "argh" when the tennis balls dont cross the net. haha and once he said something like "it's not fair.. i want a re-match" to his coach. not in an irritating way of course. and apparently coach bob was at court 8. gosh. i felt as though someone was watching me from behind. thought it was just me being over-sensitive. but crystal felt it too. gahh. i was pretty sure he recognized us. lol... suddenly remembered. think i gonna see him on tuesday again.. this time with xinhui learning. seeing him makes me have the "omg" feeling. haha. okay, enough of bob. the coach ask us if we were buying racquets cause according to him, normally people buy racquets after learning a few lessons. think i'm waiting for christmas. waiting for someone to get me a racquet (: dont know. or maybe i'll buy one myself. afterall he said racquets should cost more than a 100. lower than that is not good. okay, so there goes all the under hundred racquets which i have been eyeing for quite some time. poo. maybe soon i wont even need a wallet. no money to put inside :(

had dinner with crystal outside again. we ate set A bento again. we window shoped j8 again. we went to look at tennis racquets again. and we walked the rjc stretch of road again. lols. haha. just that we walk a longer distance compared to thursday. i love evening/night walks. so we talk and walk. walk and talk until 9 plus. walking is healthy right? haha so it's okay. and it's fun and nice too. reached home and had my second dinner. i'm filled to the brim -_______- and at around 5am i sms-ed crystal cause i couldn't sleep. i sms 11 messages. and it's monologue kind of thing. *_* and 6 messages are linked together. lol

"the moon looks stupid"

Changes...

so many things have changed. since pri school to sec school. whether i have change, i'm not so sure myself. well, besides the hair which is kind of obvious. it's wierd to think back that i use to go recess with huifang in the past and now, we dont even say 'hi' despite being in the same school. how i use to have endless conversations with nelson and now not even a single word. peiqi, my p2 friend till now. well, we're still on speaking terms though we speak barely a few words to each other each time we meet each other in school. and i'm not at all interested in going for 6sapphire's class outing ever since i graduated from dq. it's pointless. i know how detached i am from the class. i just cant clique with the people there at all. especially the girls there. in pri sch, it always seemed as though i'm the one from another world...

of course there's always people like shu hao and yiyuan of whom are people that i still keep in contact with. i dont think i was really close to them in pri sch. haha i knew yiyuan in p2 and were in the same class till p6. lols.. but we dont really talk a lot. then shu hao i knew him in p4. haha i still can remember on the first day of p4-1. i had a glance at all my classmates. most of them i knew except the chongboon ones which were easily identified cause they were in a different uniform. i pretty much know everyone else in the class cause most were my p3-1 classmates. and i saw a few people who seem pretty familiar looking, those were from p3-2. and then i saw shu hao, a totally unfamiliar face. think he was from p3-4, cause he was a foreigner. anyway after school that day, i was waiting for my dad at the void deck outside of school. and well, shu hao was there. so we were sort of exchanging glances at each other. then look away. then after that i dont know which of us started asking "you from 4-1 right?" okay anyway, we started talking a bit. he was waiting for his guardian. somehow my dad and his guardian always took a long time to come. so we'll talk... everyday after school. haha dont ask me the content. i cant rmb a thing at all. but we dont really talk in class. until p6 end of year maybe a little more.

in p4-1, my closest friend was nelson. haha he knows practically everything about me. lols. well initially when the teacher made us sit together we only quarreled. it was really stupid cause he called me names. and we tried avoid looking at each other. lols. then i also dont know what happen, but i guess we manage to get along pretty well after that and started talking non-stop. haha.

then in p5-1, i sat next to this guy- david. we always quarreled. and well i hated him. that never really changed ahah. though i dont really hate him now. he's a petty guy. and i dont understand why some girls like him. -gross out. he's the type of guy that refuses to let me copy his work when i dont know how to do and threatens to tell the teacher. and then begs me to let him copy my work when he dont know. argh. ok so he has his good sides too, not to my knowledge though.

hrms, yesterday went out with crystal for lunch at 3pm. lols. ate at deli and then walked our usual routine. got a few brochures for the student plan. took a few photos and had my mms activated (:

walked to rjc. the building is very nice for a school but it doesnt feel like a school. haha i dont know how to describe. looks a little like hospital. erps. a lot of round buildings, dont know use for what. it's just difficult to imagine students walking around inside. oh wells, i still wanna get in rjc.

haha it's nice looking at my new phone. but i think i'm a little paranoid by my fingerprints on the silver buttons :D hehe. it's so new. and i'm sending crappy sms-es to crystal. trying to utilise my plan. -beams

i'm ultra hungry. why? cos after i bought the phone, my mom decided to go food court and eat. so i was "choking" the seats while she went to buy the food. and she comes back with this big tray of food.

me: huh? why you buy so much
mom: buy for you to eat mah

(i'm like omg cos i wanted to buy my own food. looks at the food which looks like plastic popiah then give my mom a horrified expression)

me: what's this? 0.0
mom: there, i bought from the vietnam stall
me: oh, can i go and buy my own food??
mom: no. there's so much food here
me: but i dont like them.
mom: how you know? you haven tried.

so i took a piece of that thing and tried to stuff it in my mouth. it was like... YUCK. i tried my best to chew and swallow the thing. but it was too horrible... so i spit it out. it tasted like some raw prawns with those veggie use for decorating chicken rice. eww.

anyway that explains why i'm so hungry right now cos i barely ate lunch. mostly watching my mom eat. ugh...

new hp (:

yay. got my new phone today.

S.S.D.D.

Same Shit Different Day

lols

actually... yesterday during tennis lesson, i was returning the shots pretty well, until i started thinking about my conductor. i thought maybe picturing her at the other side of the court or imagining her as the tennis ball would make my shots more powerful. apparently not, i started missing a series of balls. cause i'm like swinging the racquet even before the ball reaches me. seriously, i tried to make myself a little more patient, waiting for the right time to hit the ball while continuing to imagine that i'm smacking a ball in her face, but apparently each time i miss the ball, swinging my racquet too early. and that happens a lot a times when i think about her. i guess, i'm just too eager to smack a ball in her face. a feeling that cant be helped.

a little insight on what happen last night over dinner...

i claimed a few days ago that i was on some financial crisis... and now the problem's even bigger. cause last night after tennis, apparently me and crystal were feasting in Swensens. certainly not a place where broke people go. but it's really not our fault. the thought of going Swensens was so sudden that we were caught unprepared to resist the temptation. had 2 fish & chips and topless 5. and after having our stomach filled, i guess our brains started to think better. we decided perhaps tennis lesson wasn't exactly the expensive thing. maybe it's us eating out after that. lol. and we're spending more and more after each tennis lesson. ytd's bill mounted close to 40. but later we tried consoling ourselves since that was her birthday treat, it was gonna happen sooner or later. or simply smth that cant be avoided. anyway the whole thing was nice. dinner was fantastic and we walked around j8, and time passes so incredibly fast. it was like 9pm before we know. it's like so late. but it's really nice to walk around at night :D

3rd tennis lesson.
did more forehands today. and had dinner with crystal at swensen while we discussed about our trip. uh, in case anyone is wondering what trip is that, it's a make-belief one. lol. but it's so nice to think about.

had a crappy convo with my tennis coach on msn. and talked a bit about band.

coach: u like clarinet?
me: no
me: i hate band
coach: hahah? r u forced
coach: cos no pple to join
coach: then they force u
me: nope... i just made a stupid decision. i put it as first choice
coach: oh band practice is so silly. they r a nonsense
coach: when u dun go on sat, they call the hse
coach: or they announce on the pa system
me: so smart.. how did u know that??
coach: they ask u to make the sacrifice
coach: but the band instructor get all the credit
me: -nods
coach: and i still cannot understand y pple cry when they cant get the medal
coach: n when they cry , i must cry too . cos bad influence by them

haha, a few comments... hah i have the feeling my coach pons band and receives phone calls from teachers. and is obviously not a very enthu band member. okay to the main point, it seems like band instructors and the way band works haven't change a single bit. so maybe they dont announce it on the PA system but mr potato does read out the names of people that got to hand in excuse letters. i dont see a point in that actually. haha it's still an absent mark there what. but they certainly call the house and the statement of the year was "they ask you to make the sacrifice and the instructor gets all the credit." that is super true. okay the good thing was that i manage to refrain myself from complaining about my conductor and i just merely stated she expects a lot more after we had the gold and he commented that "u spoilt the market. this is the new standard now" haha, good luck to our jnrs in maintaining the wonderful gold we got. -cackles evily even i have trouble maintaining the standard and i cant be bothered to do so. i'm just putting all my hopes that you'd leave.

hoho. i totally underestimated the bio hw. it's a lot. initally i thought it was just a simple exercise. fat hope. the stupid exercise practically requires you to copy the entire chapter. -faints i prolly wont finish it anytime soon. i hate this.

poo. i'm a slug with big dreams. i need to put in loads more time and effort into my studies. i've been napping non-stop since i woke up this morning. i ought to spend my holiday wisely, getting ready for next year. i'm only left with 30 days to catch up on all the stuff. and do my pile of homework. cries.

homework
1. English trial exams
2. Chemistry wksht
3. Bio hw
4. 2 jianbao
5. bk review of hongloumeng
6. hcl letter writing to mediacorp
7. amaths
8. emaths
9. king henry
10. physics wksht

Stuff to revise for s.o.y. (start of year) tests?!
1. Bio (2 chapters)
2. Sec 3 Physics
3. Sec 3 Chem
4. 1-250 chinese idioms

okay, i plan to throw aside trial exams. it's undo-able. and un-finishable. it's rubbish. same for hongloumeng. waste of my time. i'll do bio today and jian bao by weekend. i'll hunt for my physics wksht and finish the sciences and maths paper which i already did most questions. i'll read king henry... ... when i feel like it. heh. and i'll think about revision later.